Alright everyone, not too condescending now.
Let me explain the shortcomings of this story. You see, the "hero rises to defeat evil" is so cliche that you can't possibly pull it off without losing all hope of originality. Also, proper story structure dictates that there be a rising action that pushes the character (the player in this case) to the adventure.
Right now your rising action is that spirits attack a town. This doesn't give you a lot to work with or expand on. Get more indepth with the rising action, be it the antagonist has some grudge on the town, or anything (just not for world domination, too cliche).
After the rising action is what is called a plateau, which for games is usually the time where players build up the character, either skill wise or even a backstory. This is followed by another rising action, be a challenge or obstacle, and another plateau.
This can continue until the climax, the final push, the big defeat or what ever you plan, just deeper than what you have now. You need a good foundation to build on. Look into a tragedy aspect of literature, I guarantee that you'll get something.
You're also lacking a lot of the Who's, What's, Why's, etc. you can never answer enough of those questions either. The more you know about your story, the easier it is to tell.
And above all, read some classic novels. Don Quixote (if you're into that sort of stuff), Oedipus Rex (best example of a heroic tragedy), and anything Shakespeare will give you a vast knowledge of these sorts of things. |