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When I looked around, the world was nothing but a pile of sht, not a single good thing within it. I heard in the past how in this part of the world there would be massive buildings that tore through the sky. The streets thrived with people of all races and streets aligned with business establishments. It was a time of no care at all and relaxation.
It was almost like a werewolf transformation, what happened here. Now, it was nothing but ruins, a shadow of its former self. I kept that scene fresh in my mind as we flew over Manhattan, a major city in New York. I can only imagine how horrifying it would be to see what happened during those fatal hours.
We flew until we reached the bay. I heard tales of the state's water and how it smelled. I suppose nothing they experienced in the past could top this. The water reaked of death and decomposition. Though we were in a fully sealed ship, the smell penetrated through the walls. We had to put on our gas masks, since it was very toxic for our health.
We came through this way to salvage broken parts from expensive collapsed buildings. Though our main mission is to eliminate the Manhunter threat, we were also tasked with finding resources. Heck, imagine the sort of things we could find in the area. If I really wanted, I could stash some materials for myself then smell or us them to upgrade my ship.
"Bringing the ship down here. Prepare the landing gear and get geared up" Jaeda ordered.
"The opening in that building seems like a secure place to land." I commented.
The ship flew into the building, and at the time I could barely distinguish that it was the world renown, Empire State Building. We navigated through the very top and landed with a gentle thud.
The cockpit computer opened up a hologram showing various resources in the area. It had an interactive menu and all images were rendered at 1080p and three dimensional. There was, of course, a red warning light flashing on the console. The space inside the skyscraper was too narrow to fly through, which would mean we had to get down on our own.
"Guess we have to get our hands dirty, " Jaeda said displeased. It will make this entire operation really difficult. "but why not just land down at the bottom?"
"This is still an uncharted territory. Landing down there makes us utterly vulnerable to an ambush," I calculated "and being up here gives us a vantage point."
"Look at you, all tactical and planning ahead. But, you are correct" she teased.
She is right. The most tactical I had ever been was when I lost a chess game to a kid well over half my age at the time. Don't judge me - that kid was like a child prodigy. Over the years, I picked up on a few new things.
Guess my brother has been rubbing off on me - unfortunately.
"I guess we start from here,"I pointed on the map at the first data point " then go through here and circle back." I concluded by finishing the "L" pattern with my finger.
That path would take us from the top of this building, down to the lobby area, through the ruins then back up".
"Sounds like a plan. Why don't you go on ahead down the elevator shaft using your jetpack" Jaeda suggested.
"Affirmative" I responded excitedly. When it comes to trying out new gear, I am like a baby discovering a new toy. This was also the perfect opportunity to test weapons out before entering combat.
See, planning ahead.
I would serve as a scout, clearing out any threats as Jaeda collected the rare materials. She would also serve as my cover fire down in the ruins, returning back to the ship if necessary. I wondered if there truly was any threat as I walked through pieces of debris and shattered glass.
These use to be work stations and offices, now its just a memorial to the dead past. I finally made my way through to the jagged opening in the wall, considered to be a elevator door. I peaked down into the shaft, only to be meet my pitch darkness.
My ecstatic attitude turned into unbound fear. |
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meldoJoin Date: 2008-11-04
Post Count: 61512 |
"There was, of course, a red warning light flashing on the console. "
That's the problem with consoles these days.
It's why I game on the PC master race. |
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"It was almost like a werewolf transformation, what happened here."
hahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahadankmemehahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhaha |
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meldoJoin Date: 2008-11-04
Post Count: 61512 |
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meldoJoin Date: 2008-11-04
Post Count: 61512 |
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Scourge9kJoin Date: 2011-11-10
Post Count: 6267 |
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA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Mixtape Nostalgia! |
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this is really cringeworthy |
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what Jacques said
it's so forced, the dialogue |
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Finn102Join Date: 2011-02-19
Post Count: 24930 |
this story takes itself too seriously lol |
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Finn102Join Date: 2011-02-19
Post Count: 24930 |
and yeah, the dialogue is extremely forced |
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finn that's exactly what i would've said
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Finn102Join Date: 2011-02-19
Post Count: 24930 |
here OP can take inspiration from me:
http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/DarkestStoryline/1429504/ |
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The dialogue is forced. I just need opinions on how to clean it up. I am not good at dialogue lol. I learned how to describe stuff well, just not how to give the characters "non-robotic" responses. |
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But besides the dialogue, is the story ok? |
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