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Listen to this while reading it
It doesn't start until 0:2
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fHHSpfssBco
Verse 1 [Archer]
You about to listen to the greatest rhyme of all time
Whites killing blacks, it's a trend not a crime
That's real facts, whites can get away with those whacks.
Hey now, relax relax, or else you're gonna collapse
The whole games full of traps, everyone's about to relapse
It doesn't matter what you bring to the game, cus all it's ever gonna bring you is shame.
Got mad aim, Archer's the name
This is mad flame, put it in a frame.
Throwing out these verses like a stampede, get caught up and you'll never be freed.
I've got the power to take the lead, got the power to never bleed.
Smashing it all to smithereens, it's all in my genes.
Tearing it apart like a wolverine, it's so hot I'm passing out the sunscreen.
This is more royal then all of the British queen's, leaving nothing behind the scenes.
Breaking rules, only following Charlie Sheen's, it's one of my daily routines.
I'm winning, this is just the beginning.
I'm only sinning, I'm only living
Verse 2 [Reezy]
Gettin' neck on the [s]ter, always wanna reconsider
Coulda, shoulda, woulda but I'm just a quitter
Rollin my swishers, drinking my lquor
Day by day getting' more sicker
Gettin' bullets and death wishes
Send them right back, cus they just some [b]ches
Give' em bullet holes and deadly precision
They send 'em back but they straight missin'
Now your girl my mistress turned her from a Mrs. to a Misses
Sippin' your blood like its red wine,
Damn your shawty too fine, Hada take off that Calvin Klein
Ate that [p] like a cherry, now she wanna get married
Said do you love me I said "Barely"
Made her red, thought she was Cherokee
Boy this rappin' [s] is to unfair to me
Verse 3 [Tested]
I've invested too much into this rap game
My name is tested and reliable
These rhymes are unjustifiable, this skill is undeniable
I'm just stretching myself around these rhymes like twister
I got a long list of other rappers that can't even [f] wit us
They're all saying "Oh, I just rushed"
We're the best, no need to discuss
They're asking for a doctor, "Please help us, mister"
And now I'm cuttin' people up with lyrical incisions
Everything I've written has gotten people listenin'
I'm shutting these other rappers down
And I'm wearing the crown now, you can step down
I can see your frown, are you mad? So sad, you've always been bad
You've never had a good rap, You're just a passing fad
I've gotten people hooked on my raps like it's crack
I think that's a rap, let's pack it up and head back
Give us some rates please.
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HanskyZJoin Date: 2012-10-05
Post Count: 3967 |
that cringey title doe |
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HanskyZJoin Date: 2012-10-05
Post Count: 3967 |
flame so small that it aint hot |
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Wow actual good lyrics in this terrible forum for once. |
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runner047Join Date: 2010-04-24
Post Count: 43 |
This took around 4 hours and we did pretty good for our first song, we are not a signed so we don't have a name yet but be prepared for more to come. |
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Pretty good but...
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OldothJoin Date: 2011-09-27
Post Count: 28 |
daaaang, this is fire yo |
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HanskyZJoin Date: 2012-10-05
Post Count: 3967 |
u wanna go anti?
cmon m8 |
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"u wanna go anti?
cmon m8"
moo moo! |
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fzstJoin Date: 2014-11-24
Post Count: 25 |
FIRE!! |
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Gi_noJoin Date: 2010-06-09
Post Count: 38 |
6/10. well thats on the signed scale. but if u want a basic scale its 9/10. not too bad at all just 1 flaw, had no real hook. every rap needs a good hook. anyways, im out.
#Pir@te |
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7.5/10 this was REALLY good for a first track, your work needs some polishing up but if you improve your style you will be legends pretty soon |
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7/10
I'd like to sign you guys. |
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kermitt69Join Date: 2012-03-17
Post Count: 3840 |
tested killed it 9/10 straight fire we made it squad |
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Scourge9kJoin Date: 2011-11-10
Post Count: 6267 |
terrible
Mellow out, man, just relax, it's really not that complicated! |
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kermitt69Join Date: 2012-03-17
Post Count: 3840 |
scxurge i hate you for dissing my squad but nice RTJ signature you still are lame |
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but i'm not a ro-rapper
+2259 posts |
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Thanks for the offer, hurricane.
More rates please, guys |
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Archer: 6/10. It was good, but could have been better. Your rhyme scheme was fluctuating throughout the whole verse and some of the rhymes you used didn't "click" as well as others could have. Otherwise not bad.
Reezy: 4/10. Felt like you were trying too hard to be ghetto. Threw in too many blocked words and that made it feel disjointed and hard to read, flow was out of sync in my opinion, especially with your lack of an organized rhyme scheme. That, and your verse doesn't really fit with the other two. It's too aggressive and the theme was entirely different. Needs a lot of work, but hang in there.
Tested: 5/10. Again, I found it a little hard to follow where you all got some of your rhymes. It's a consistent theme with you all to just throw in words that rhyme and then work the lyrics around that. It doesn't really work, and putting in too many rhymes in a row with barely anything in between, well, it gets dizzying. Overall, decent.
Keep working at it guys. This needs a little bit of work but hey, nobody started out as a pro. |
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Thanks for taking the time to explain why, it's pretty helpful.
+2259 posts |
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runner047Join Date: 2010-04-24
Post Count: 43 |
@RainbowPancakess uhh what if it is ghetto I don't see why it can't be everyone's rhyme style is different, I rap what I am I'm not gonna say stuff that isn't me if I wasn't rapping about what I feel then why am I rapping. |
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