VristenJoin Date: 2013-08-31
Post Count: 346 |
-Sighs- I'd recommend you reading this first,http://www.roblox.com/Forum/ShowPost.aspx?PostID=170479222,before you read this. -Sighs- I will not be cliche,and say I saw Ash,or I still hear their voices singing,"Ashhhhy Ashhhhy",or saw my brother. You're probably wondering why I am back to tell another tale. Well I think the public deserves to hear what happened after Ash and Jakey's death.
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After their death,I moved in with Mamma and Papa,but Mama killed herself a month after I moved in. And Papa killed himself a day after Mama. I was alone in the world scared,worried,sad,dumb,and useless.
I won't lie,I thought about killing myself,but I remember Ash's last words,"Jenna! I forgive you,you were like my sis-",I like to pretend she finished the word "sister". I got a job at Maggie's Dinner. A place that chills me to the bone today. I got an apartment. My life was going good,until I got a message from Ashley saying,"Ashy Ashy" I got mad,who would dare prank me about that subject.
I ignored it the first few messages,but I snapped at the third one and replied,"Who is this? And you have some guts messaging me from my dead friends phone."
The moment I tapped enter,they replied. It was a picture of Ash,In the chair,In the middle of saying her last words. I threw my phone to the wall. I heard it ring,some one was calling. I picked it up and answered. "Ashyyy Ashyyy",the caller said. It sounded like the exact same voices. "Who are you?!!?',I yelled into my phone. I heard static for a while then I heard them say,"Look out your window Jennifer." I didnt know which one so I looked out the closest one to me,A man,in a goat's mask,was leaning against a white van.
I didn't know what to do. I was on the second to the top floor,I saw him walk into the building. "BOOM!","BOOM!","BOOM!" I could hear his foot steps from the ninth floor. I dropped my phone. I heard them right when I dropped it,"Dont you dare call the cops."
I thought they were arrested,suddenly my TV Turned on the news,the reporter was talking about a prison break,then the channel went to static.
I saw my door knob slowly turn,It slowly creaked opened,I didnt move,I was tremblin' in fear. There were two men who came in. They walked around me in circles,staring me down,my heart almost jumped out of my chest. Finally one of them spoke,real slowly,"You took something from us,Jenna" Took something,You took my friend and brother's life,I thought. I gulped and said,"T-Took what?" They both laughed,like I had told a funny joke. I-I,jeeze I can barely finish this story. "You know,Jenna.",they said real slowly,in unison. "I don't!". I never really believed in magic,demons,or any of the ect.,but this night made me believe,both of their eyes glowed red,through their creepy masks.
I gulped. "Jenna,Sweet,Sweet,Jenna,You took Ashley from us!"
"Wha-What you took her life!"
They both laughed. "We didnt mean to kill her,our hands slipped."
I stared at them with confusion.
"Same with your brother." One of them grabbed me and said,"Ash Was our's first,she was our long lost sis-" Suddenly the door flung open,a woman with long black hair,tied up in a bow,with a long black dress,came into the room and said,"Let her go now!"
They both faded away. I thought this was a nightmare. I was speechless. "The name is Lily,Lilian Batter,darling." "Leave me alone!",I yelled I ran into my room. Suddenly I was in the living-room again. "My sister is dead,because of your carelessness!",The woman who is calling her self Ash's sister,yelled at me. I couldn't move,not because of fear,my limbs felt like they were frozen. "What do you mean!?!?"
She caressed my check and laughed,"You left her to die!'
-You hear a window break-
-Gasps- I cant finish they wont let me tell the tal-You hear a muffled screaming-
-The camera drops- -You see A girl being dragged out the window,by two people in goat masks- -A man with a goat mask comes to the camera and says- "V.E.D V.E.D,V.E.D." |
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Got here when she made it |
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Wowee.
I was 8 spook out of 100. |
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:OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO THAT WAS HAPPENING WHILE SHE WAS TELLING IT |
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VristenJoin Date: 2013-08-31
Post Count: 346 |
*Mk This was not meant to be scary,it was meant to be confusing !* |
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umg she told me whole story u wont believe |
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This is nothing close to terrifying. It's just a tall skyscraper of CLICHES. I mean, this is ridiculous. |
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PawzKatJoin Date: 2012-04-22
Post Count: 21011 |
The confusion lowers the quality because you failed to make it logical confusion. |
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VristenJoin Date: 2013-08-31
Post Count: 346 |
*Once Again All the confusion will be out on the third one, .___.. I think making it super confusing,makes it more interesting. I mean If I told you all in one story,it would be gone*
,The person who doesnt understand all this hate! |
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I think that you should stop playing Roblox for a while, do your homework, and take English classes. Like tons of English classes. |
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VristenJoin Date: 2013-08-31
Post Count: 346 |
Well I am not taking orders from a person on the computer,trying to start a flame war with me. I have had it with all the hate! I mean I thought I did good,but you can't please online trolls,Jesus Christ!
,The person who tried their best! |
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I'm nowhere near trolling you. I'm serious. |
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VristenJoin Date: 2013-08-31
Post Count: 346 |
And btw I really do not care,I do not need your opinion.
,The person who tired of the hate |
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PawzKatJoin Date: 2012-04-22
Post Count: 21011 |
The 'super confusion' is actually making it less interesting, Cj. It's discouraging me from reading more because it follows no pattern, and seems random. |
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VristenJoin Date: 2013-08-31
Post Count: 346 |
Here this is for you, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OK4fJhbRL1g
,The person who tired of the hate |
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VristenJoin Date: 2013-08-31
Post Count: 346 |
Not you Pawz ;3
,The person who tired of the hate |
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PawzKatJoin Date: 2012-04-22
Post Count: 21011 |
No thanks.
Just keep in mind I'm offering criticism. |
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PawzKatJoin Date: 2012-04-22
Post Count: 21011 |
Oh okay. Latepost. |
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VristenJoin Date: 2013-08-31
Post Count: 346 |
I said not chew,I like the way you are saying it,it is the other guy who is making me mad :33
,The person who tired of the hate |
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VristenJoin Date: 2013-08-31
Post Count: 346 |
@InfraredChasm
Here are two quotes I follow
"Remember Only God can judge 'ya,forget the haters,'cause somebody loves
ya' " -- Miley Cryus
"I really dont care if you love me or hate me"-- Punk Princess,Arvil Lagvine |
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https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ztVMib1T4T4
Also, I'm just really emphasizing that you need to improve your grammar and that your story is full of cliches even if it isn't. |
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*cough* Even if you say it isn't. |
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VristenJoin Date: 2013-08-31
Post Count: 346 |
I do not care. Im not in school my Grammar does not have to be perfect.
I do not care what you think.
I do not need your opinion.
Get a life,and get of this forum.
'i does no care any more'
,The person who left da grammar in school. |
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no i want to stay on this forum ;c
"Im not in school my Grammar does not have to be perfect."
*grammar |
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