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Title: The Story of KinTIn
Author: attomicgreen
Note: Credit goes to an old friend of mine named Jace, who made this story possible in the first place.
This story is about the crazy adventures of a Kindergartener named KinTIn and his friend, High-schooler Rickety Split.
Blurb:
KinTIn hates VeggieTales and he is in Kindergarten. Stuff happens and he goes on crazy adventures, so read this book if you want to hear them.
Chapter 1:
Before I knew it, I was lying on a pit of sand, but then I realized I was in the middle of saving my friend Rickety Split from the VeggieTales. I quickly got up and grabbed my paper sword to fight off the evil food items.
I was running, until I realized I was about to run into a Tetherball pole.
ow.
Weird things are always happening to me. I’m in kindergarten, and I always think my best friend Rickety Split is in trouble, so I try and save him, though he is not in trouble at all.
Let me introduce myself.
The name is KinTIn. KinTIn WeaselRock. I was born on a island called ERFDFHFFDGHDFFggf. So, yeah.
I was born to kill the VeggieTales. VeggieTales is a show made to teach a kid a dumb lesson how you have to eat vegetables. And they always say WAKA, WAKA, KOL, KOL.
That will happen one of these days, but for now I am just going to go home because I bumped my head on the pole while saving Rickety Split.
Chapter 2:
Yesterday I went on the internet and searched, Poptart cat farting out rainbows in space. Then It came up with some meme called Nyan Cat.
Just so you know, that is very annoying. It was a Poptart cat farting out rainbows in space with an annoying song playing in the background.
I know a police officer named Cop Jones, and he is so into Nyan Cat for some weird reason. He has posters of it all over his room. There are also Nyan Cat stickers on his police car. I’ve told him that I watched the video, and that Nyan Cat is very annoying. He got mad and arrested me.
And that is how I found out about Nyan Cat.
But there was another video that I found about cats too.
I googled a cat that plays the piano. It came up with “Keyboard Cat”. It was actually funny. I couldn't stop laughing that I threw up on my computer screen and my mom yelled at me.
Although, it was shorter, it was way better than Nyan Cat.
I told cop Jones that Keyboard Cat is way better than Nyan Cat the next day. Hopefully officer Jones got a piece of his sandwich.
Chapter 3:
Me and my friend Rickety Split have been watching this show called “Toxic Idiots”.
It is about these people who done stupid things with Toxic. One guy jumped into a toxic and he died. Everybody dies in that show by touching toxic.
My mom said we can’t watch it because everyone dies. Well Rickety Split is allowed to watch it. So I go to his house on my tricycle every day and we get popcorn and watch Toxic Idiots.
When the show starts it says it is TV-14, but I don't care because Rickety is allowed to watch it. The host on the show, Wance, threw a gumball into the toxic and it exploded.
I searched it up on the internet, and it said that a man once fell in it.
After Toxic Idiots is over, VeggieTales came on. I had to keep it a secret that I watched Toxic Idiots.
Chapter 4:
My little sister, Alasma, watched VeggieTales (which was lame). She told me that on the show they killed a celery named OKA-MOKA-SOKA. That’s a dumb name for a celery.
I know that kids in my grade watch VeggieTales, the only reasons me and Rickety hate it are:
1.It is lame
2.They have weird names like OKA-MOKA-SOKA
3. Vegetables can’t talk or do stuff.
I like Toxic Idiots WAY better.
Why? Well,
1. Its so funny
2.It is actually for my age TV-14
3. They have humans, and humans can do stuff, like fall in toxic waste, or prevent from watching veggie Tales.
That’s why my job is to kill VeggieTales, and there will be peace for EVERYONE!!!
Chapter 5:
I read this book called The extravaganza of Timmy Wild.
It is about this kid who has an adventure in China to save his mother from Ninjas, and karate warriors, and he is only 4.
I don’t know why the author, Louis sandwich, made Timmy's last name Wild. Probably because he is super hyper, when he drinks Coca-SOKA, then he goes in the air and starts kicking people in the face.
The worst part of this book is when he farts so loud that everyone wakes up. Maybe thats why you shouldn’t drink Coca-SOKA.
I heard that they are making a new Timmy Wild, called The Extreme Deadly Adventure of Timmy Wild 2.
I do not want to read the book, the first one was awful too. I only read the book is because Rickety likes it. He told me they are making The Extreme Deadly Adventure of Timmy Wild 2.
Hopefully it stinks.
Chapter 6:
I just had an idea of going Chuck-E-Cheese with Rickety, so I called him and he said yes.
Last time I was there I punched Chuckey in the nose, because he freaked me out.
So I wasn’t allow to go to that Chuck-E-Cheese anymore. But now I am going to a different one. The one by WAL-CART.
So Rickety came over to my house and we got in the car to go to Chuck E. Cheeses. I was driving.
Then, out of nowhere, another car crashed into me.
“What the heck was that for?”, I said. Then the car moved, then I could drive again.
Rickety put on the radio, and the reporter, Dilly Mays, said that DOKA-SOKA-WET-CAR escaped from jail. Then I just realized that we were right next to the jail.
So I told Rickety to take off your seat belt, and lets go get DOKA-SOKA-WET-CAR.
So I drove so fast that the car was about to explode.
Then I saw him, DOKA-SOKA-WET-CAR. “Hang on Rickety” I said.
And I ran over DOKA-SOKA-WET-CAR.
I got out of the car and told the police to go home. They said “UHHHHH” because they didn't want to.
Then I picked up DOKA-SOKA-WET-CAR and put him in the back and we were on our way to Chuck-E-Cheese.
Chapter 7:
When we got to Chuck-E-Cheeses we signed in, and then I saw something disturbing, something that almost lost my breath, it was- “KinTIn, what are you doing?" said Rickety. “Dude I am having a dramatic moment in my story right now, so can you please shut up” I said. “Okay jeez” said Rickety.
It was VEGGIETALES. AND IT WAS A RIDE!
I am SO glad I brought my hammer.
“KinTIn! what on mustard are you doing?"
I said, “It is a VeggieTales ride and I hate VeggieTales,”
“Ok” said Rickety, “You don’t have to ride it, just don't break it. I can see that sledgehammer behind your back”.
“Ok” I said. “How about I order some pizza, and you go play” said Rickety.
Then I just ran off. Then I found an awesome game called, WHO WANT’S CASH. Then I put my tokens in and started playing.
It was kind of confusing, but then I figured out how to play. When it was done I only got half a ticket.
Stupid game.
I thought about trying a different game with my last 2095892380750894 tokens, which was enough to play one more, but then Rickety texted me that pizza is here.
So I ran to him, and then he fell down when I got there. I forgot to tell you this, but when Rickety gets hurt, he screams so loud!
Two minutes later everything was fine, but he kept saying "Cookie Monster" for some reason.
I had about two slices of pizza then I decided to play more GAMES.
Chapter 8:
Still playing games. I found 9087259780325982 more tokens on the ground, so I could play more than one now.
I found this cool one called, kill the VeggieTales (My job).
So I put my token in and started making fun of the VeggieTales because I was killing them.
My score was 75647367473635465645, I had just set a world record.
Then I told Rickety, “Let’s get out of here”.
We went outside, but then something weird happened. There was a bright light and it was very windy.
I thought I was going to go blind, but then I realized: this is not a bright light, this is a Portal.
And off we went into the portal.
Chapter 9:
Before I knew it, I was lying in a pit of sand.
Then I realized this is what happen at the beginning of the book, and that I needed to save Rickety Split from the VeggieTales.
So I grabbed my paper sword, and ran.
I ran to the middle of nowhere, and then I had to go to the bathroom.
Then I saw a porta potty and did my business.
After that, it was time to save Rickety. So I got on a random camel and rode to find Rickety and where they were keeping him.
Then I saw a pyramid that was big and tall. There was a sign that said “The place where the veggie tales are keeping Rickety Split, come in”.
Thanks, sign. Then I walked to the pyramid that they were keeping Rickety.
I walked inside.
And then I saw something odd. I saw someone about to get his head chopped up by VeggieTales, and I realized; That person is Rickety.
Chapter 10:
I ran in and got my paper sword out and started hitting the stupid VeggieTales. The tomato said “What the heck are you doing?!”
“Saving Rickety” I said.
“You are not going to,” said the Cucumber, “He is going to die!"
“No he is not, you both are going to” I said.
Then all of a sudden I saw a Veggie dude with a big robot, with big guns. “Nice tech” I said, “It is about to be Dumb tech."
Then I jumped so high that I could hit a Tetherball pole, but I didn't.
I stabbed my paper sword into the big robot. But it didn’t do anything, so I fell and almost died.
Then the big robot tried to shoot me, but then Rickety pushed me out of the way, and then the robot made a big explosion out of nowhere.
It killed the pickle but not the tomato. “You will never get away with this” said the tomato.
“I already have” I said. Then I took my paper sword, crumbled it into a ball, and threw it at his face. Before I knew it, he was dead.
“are you okay, Rickety”? I said.
“I’m fine"
We saw the portal again, and we were back at my house and everything was normal again.
We are heros!!!!!!!!!!!!
THE END
Epilogue:
Hey guys, it is KinTIn.
So yesterday my little sister was about to watch VeggieTales, but then some guy said on TV, “There will be no more VeggieTales, due to Tomato and Cucumber’s death."
She started crying, but I started not crying.
I was so happy that dumb show is not coming on anymore!
KinTIn out!!!!
Look forward to book 2: The story of KinTIn 2: KinTIn and Rickety go to Greenmand |