(i got bored, chill out. most jokes are bad.)
majors.
"What's that, sir?" - young private
"That's a major, Private." - "grizzled", recently promoted ssgt.
"Why is he dressed in all pink with a pride shirt over his torso?"
(it's just a joke chill)
immaturity.
"Why can the HRs be so immature and I can't?" - young private
"Everyone just goes with it, there's nothing to do about it."
"Why DOESN'T anyone do anything about it?" - yung leen private
"The complaint box is in their apoc server base, good luck with that." -sgt
IA.
(oh don't get mad, it's all fun and games man.)
*rushing cp with militia truck* - ia agent
"Sir, stop, or we will fire upon your vehicle!" - fair, balanced, CPL
*continues* - ia agent
*fires upon vehicle* - FBCPL
*pulls out ID badge, blares sirens, text everywhere* "HEY WHAT ARE YOU DOING I'M IA THAT'S NOT HOW YOU TREAT A CIVILLIAN YOU'RE DEMOTED AND ARRESTED FOR YOUR WRONG ACTIONS!11111 AAAAAA!11"
accusations.
(why wouldn't this be biased?)
"uh u sound slightly like a hacker due to the use of the phrase 'hi', we're gonna have to arrestdemotepunishpbanshootkill you ok." - wrongly ordered hr
"no pls" - obedient privet
*arrestdemotepunishpbanshootkills obedient privet* - w̶r̶o̶n̶g̶l̶y̶ 100% correctly ordered hr i swear
yindy.
"a hey look yindy joined the server" - RIC captain xxobvious2299xxxX
*witty comment whilst killing 29 raiders with an m9* - yindy
"ALL HAIL YINDY!" - literaly everyone in ric.
*eats red shaggy* - yindy
com.b
"hey look i get a medkit and access to some medical gear and vehicles" - medic privet 87th clas
"hey look i get some neat guns and a few vehicles" - ranger specialist
"hey look i get aircraft" - af
"YOU ARE ALL LAME I GET A SUPER WEAPON AUTO-KILL AUTO-AIM BEARCAT SCUD RIFLE WITH SUPER HOT CUSTOMS AND BLACK AND RED COLORS 1V1 ME OPR BOY" - com.b 2nd lt.
"so should i not mention my baton?" - doc sgt.
rc 7.
*types out script in chat to scare people*
"AH RC 7 HACKING CODE RUST CODE RUST EVERYONE LEAVE SHUTTING DOWN" - new hr
allies.
*reads rules completely and understands* - random ally (looking at you, ruskies)
"hey i should swear and go past military limits and steal a helicopter and shoot civilians and disrespect all of the hrs and bring the super tank past cp when there aren't any raiders to shoot civvies" - obviously ruskie
bias.
*does every stunt and action perfectly at TC* - wronged the hr private
*fails every exercise and blames everything on comrades* - friends with HR private
"gprivate, sorry but you failed because you stood against the accusations i had against you, however private who's been friends with me forever, you are being promoted to sergeant major for ur greeat work - "good" hr
well it's not much, but i hope you liked it.
(if you were triggered, im not sorry.)
~ John Doe |