It'd been a long day for poor little Soren.
Life's tough when you're madly in love with an adult man who doesn't even know you exist. But it had gotten even tougher when his classmates found out about his crush on Drake Bell. (Not because he was a dude, mind you, but because Drake Bell hadn't been relevant in years, and as everyone knows, middle schoolers are only into hip and cool things like Nae-Naes and iPhones.)
As soon as Soren got home from school, he plopped down on the couch, turned on the TV, and watched some recordings he had made of the Drake and Josh Show. Reruns came on late at night, and being only thirteen, he wasn't usually supposed to be up past ten. He resented his lack of control over his own bedtime only slightly less than he resented not being able to meet Drake Bell.
He was about ten minutes into watching an episode of the show when there was a loud bang, and a bright flash of light. The sound was as deafening as the light was blinding, and for a moment, he couldn't see or hear a thing. When his senses returned, though, he was greeted by a sight he never thought he'd see in his life.
That sight was Drake Bell, standing right in the middle of his living room.
Soren wasn't sure whether to squeal or cry with sheer happiness, so he did both. Drake laughed.
"So I hear you're a big fan of me?"
"Yes!" Soren shrieked.
"And that you're in love with me?""Very! But-" His face fell. "You're marr#########"Shhh." Drake held a finger to his lips. Soren nearly fainted with glee. "What my wife##############can't hurt her."
Soren opened his mouth to speak, before simply nodding. His parents wouldn't be home in about an hour - though he doubted anything that serious would happen. Some daydreams needed to stay daydreams.
"I've always wanted to try poly##########en," Drake said softly. "You could be my fiance..."
"Fiance?" Soren echoed. "Why not hus-"
"I can't divorce my wife##############oesn't even know I've been watching you, trying to find a way to get to you. But I will guarantee you one thing: if they ever make poly########al, you're first on my list."
"Oh, Drake..." Soren was still crying. It wasn't a good look. "Of course I'll be your fiance! I've loved you since the day I heard your music! I've watched every episode of the Drake and Josh Show! I can't sleep without hearing your voice!"
"I know," Drake said.
Then they #### ####
The end.d. |