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June 4th, 2435.
Citadel Prison Compound.
Cell Block 3.
Noslien, Epoas.
Planet of Therien.
Her story of despair started long ago, and her true adventure would begin here. It started 20 years ago. A ruthless revolutionary by the name of Lokien overthrew the peaceful Typherian government. Many people protested. All were silenced. Protests and attempts of liberation were shut down. Lokien considered these outcasts heresy. He turned what was once the most powerful empire into a more gruesome-than-ever death sentence. Those once protected were now at war or had already been lost. The Ferretian empire was now the last to stand strong and defiant in the face of the enemy, in the face of a universe taker. Multiple colonies of Ferretian origin succumbed to the might of the Typherian technology. Therien was one such planet. And it is here that her story began, as Gracie Theirius Fiers. She wasn't about to stand for this injustice and when she stood, she fell hard, as the rest of Therien did. The resistance didn't like losing her, the most powerful speaker out of the 56 strong group. And she was quickly imprisioned in Citadel Prison Compound, most often referred to as just 'The Citdel'. As the most high security compound located on Planet Therien, it was meant to house the most powerful criminals of the Lokien-Typherian empire. The heretics. The resistors. And it is on June 3rd, she fell after 13 years of powerful, inspiring encouragement to fight back. She was finally captured.
Guard: Rise and shine buttercup, it's breakfast!
Someone stirs in the uncomfortable looking cot.
Gracie: ... 5 more minutes ...
Guard: You don't wanna wait this time, the food is actually lukewarm for once!*laughs mercilessly*
Gracie: *flare of defiance* Fine! If it will get you to stop that incredibly annoying laugh!
Guard: *immediately stops and becomes aggressive* Watch your tone young lady! Or should I introduce you to my standard edition riot breaker?!
He motions to his gleaming AAR-32 painted in tri-tone red, blue-grey, and grey colors.
Gracie immediately calms down and takes the barely warm food.
Guard: Thatta girl, now enjoy your 'meal'! *laughs cruellessly again*
Gracie: Hmph. He is at least right about it being luke warm. first one out of 20 others.
Gracie reluctantly eats the mildly cold and certainly tasteless slop. Her one favorite part is the bread roll, the only colorful thing in this place that doesn't represent despair, and the one tasty part of the watery soup, and the protein lacking overcooked meat.
Gracie in her diary: Dear diary, Today marks the start of my plans to escape. I'd talk more in detail about but don't have time. in another 5 minutes is propaganda enhanced 'education'. Other resistance members who have been in here longer are starting to crack. It's sad to see the slow degradation of people who have lost hope. But I give them just enough to make it by. They know that I'm alive and still well. And that I've gone through advanced 'sessions' of 'education' to try to make me crack. They've failed as of yet. And I'm someone that Lokien is afraid of. He's afraid of people like me, who always have hope. I plan on getting out tonight, at midnight to mark the anniversary of my capture on June 3rd, 2433 of being able to endure 2 years of this. I will end this war from the inside out. May Ferretia succeed in this war. May I succeed in my mission.
Gracie puts up her diary and gets ready for the education class...
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If you like this, tell me about it! I will keep making this as long as I have your support and even if I don't get support for this I'll keep going. So until another day, make sure to tune in on the intense and suspenseful story known as:
>x-+ The Citadel +-x<
This has been Season 1 Episode 1.
S01E01 |
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Btw, New episodes will be posted in this thread. |
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werternutJoin Date: 2008-08-19
Post Count: 1817 |
I DISAPPROVE OF THIS |
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I disapprove of your trolling. |
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One more thing, I would like to hear ideas but I do not want to collab unless I invite you to do so. |
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Good, it makes me want moar.MAKE MOAR OR DAI. |
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Episode 2 is coming out in another 3-4 hours, might see it tomorrow, idk. I'm tempted to make another now, but I want some spacing in between. |
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Episode 2 will be coming out 9:00 P.M. Central time, so adjust your time to whatever TZ you live in, and expect it at that time. |
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Finally, someone who speaks central time. |
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>x-+ The Citadel +-x<
"The Escape" S01E02 Episode 2
June 4th, 2435
Citadel Prison Compound
Cell Block 3
Noslien, Epoas
Planet of Therien
Gracie reenters her cell and begins another daily cycle of 'fun' activities...
... From the multiple hours spent in the cell (quiet time/reflection on what you did) ...
... To the bland and cramped exercise center...
... To the lunch that has no taste and cell socialization time...
... To even MORE quiet time...
... To the absolutely devoid of sersory taste at all dinner...
... And finally to sleep.
Gracie: Alright tonight's the night! I'll stay awake 'til the midnight bells, and then make my move. I've got to take inventory in my diary first to make sure I've gotten everything.
Gracie in her diary: Dear Diary, I'm using you as inventory time. 5 makeshift prison knives? Check. Homemade ballistics jacket? Check. Improvised rope? Check. Gun? No check. That'll have to wait. Incredibly stupid yet working plan? Definitely checked. Time to go.
Gracie closes her diary and stows it in her homemade haversack (Check.).
She starts picking the lock on the door.
Gracie: *quietly growling* ... Come on you fox! You know you can do it! Just a little jumbling the lock... and...
(Gracie is a fox, forgot to mention this.) She clicks the knife around in the lock and then she hears a big click resound through her cell.
Gracie: Success! Now to ambush the guard that passes here every night.
Gracie waits in silent darkness. The janitor/guard passes by. She pounces with her stealth and wrestles the guard to the ground. She then stabs him real deep a few times with a knife that look like a dagger. The guard becomes lifeless and limp. Gracie gets up and takes the gun (Check.) and starts walking towards the outside perimeter walkways 850 feet in the air.
She starts walking swiftly unsure what to do now.
Gracie: Didn't expect to get this-
A big arm wraps around her neck. She doesn't panic and flips him over. She nearly tumbles him off the edge of the walkway.
Gracie: Now you've done it bub! Tell me where to go to get out of here, and you won't take a nice trip to your end.
Guard: Never! (Gracie peels off 2 of his fingers) Ok wait, stop please! *starts crying* I don't wanna die!
Gracie: Then tell me where to go!
Guard: Just keep walking that way! Pl-pl-please spare me miss, miss-
Gracie interrupts him.
Gracie: Gracie. Gracie Theirius Fiers. See ya never!
Gracie walks swiftly away but not before getting hit by a tranquilizer.
Gracie: *gasps suddenly* Oh no. Noooooo......
She wakes up on the walkway still, a guard hovering over her.
Gracie kicks out her feet and grapples the guard by the neck. She flips him onto his back.
Guard: Wait! *chokes a little* Please! I was trying to help!
Gracie: And how were you trying to help? By guiding me back to that infernal cell!?
Gracie becomes real threatening as the guard struggles in her grasp.
Guard: No, By showing- ack! -the way out! You were heading towards- ack! -the barracks!
Gracie releases him.
Guard: God you're incredibly strong for your stature.
Gracie: Blame the exercise center.
Guard: I'm Jake. Jake Guteryiz.
Gracie: Ok, Jake, then point me in the right direction. Before I lose my patience. Why are you even helping me?!
Jake: Because you brought me out of my brainwashed trance. I saw you talking to the other inmates, giving them hope. You gave me hope too. Hope of reclaiming the old Typherian empire. To take it back from Lokien.
Gracie: Welcome to the heresy then, now let's MOVE!
Jake: Head the other way, there's an access tunnel. It goes into the maintenance chambers and through the air vents.
Gracie stays put.
Jake: Well?
Gracie: Well what? I don't know what the access tunnel looks like. Lead the way, mister-I-saw-the-wrongs-of-my-ways.
Jake: *sarcastically* Ha ha.
Gracie: *waiting* Are you gonna lead or what?
Jake: This way!
Gracie follows Jake to the access tunnel.
Gracie enters the tunnel, but Jake doesn't enter.
Gracie: *motions the gun at him* Enter. Now! I'm not leaving you behind to tell everyone where I'm going.
Jake: *enters* I thought you didn't want me along.
Gracie: Think of it as you being my insurance policy.
Jake: Insurance against what?
Gracie: *facepalm* ... Getting captured and shot, duh...
Jake: Ok, ok, sorry. Shoulda thought of that.
The end of the tunnel approaches.
Gracie: *overjoyed* Yes! I see it!
Jake: *worried, warning toned* No wait, Gracie! Wait!
Gracie stops for a second.
Gracie: How did you recognize my name?
Jake: *points out the ID tag* Every guard knows CB3-45 is Gracie Theirius Fiers. You've become somewhat of a legend around here.
Gracie: Good to know, now why can't I go through this opening?
Jake points out the sensors.
Gracie: Oh... Easily fixed.
Gracie takes one of her prison knives and cuts through the wiring.
Gracie: All done. Now to move it aside *she moves the vent* and to just walk out- AAAAAAHHHH!!!
She starts sliding down the side of The Citadel 700 feet in the air. Jake follows.
Jake: Gracie! Reach for my hand! GRACIE!
Gracie rolls when she hits the ground and falls unconscious...
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This has been "The Escape", Episode 2 of Season 1. I will come out with a new episode eventually. Stay tuned for the next edition of:
>x-+ The Citadel +-x< "The Escape, Part 2" S01E03
Let me know what you think of the story so far! |
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All new episodes will be this long. So that makes for more storyline in one post. |
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ix3CandyJoin Date: 2010-06-15
Post Count: 7228 |
You have broken all rules of being awesome. THISISGOD!!!!!!!!! |
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Has anyone noticed this guy loves foxes?Ferret army?Gracie is a fox?Gracie is a FOXY fox!(I mean seriously check out the decal he made.) |
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Nahhhh... I like Ferrets too. :D |
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>x-+ The Citadel +-x<
"The Escape, Part Due(Deux(Two in French))"
June 5th, 2435
Outside Grounds Near Citadel Prison Compound
Noslien, Epoas
Planet of Therien
????: gracie... *heartbeat* Gracie... *heartbeat and alarm sound* GRAcie... *heartbeat gets faster, louder, and alarm sound increases in clarity* GRACIE... *heartbeat becomes normal, with alarm in background and every noise is clear sounding* GRACIE!
Gracie: Huh? *dazed and confused* Wha-where am I?
Jake: Oh thank the lord! I thought you'd died!
Gracie: *shakes off the daziness* Oh no the alarm's sounding, we have to get moving now! |
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It's good, but the format is difficult to read. |
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Jake: And how are you going to go about this? In a minute, Dragonfly dropship will be all over us!
Gracie starts running away.
Jake: Wha- wait for me!
Gracie: Keep moving! *her vision is becoming cloudy* Come on Jake!
Jake: Where are we going!? Seriously!
Gracie: *turns around and smiles* Anywhere but here.
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June 5th, 2435.
Citadel Prison Compound
Cell Block 1-25 Office
Noslien, Epoas
Planet of Therien
??????: Where is Gracie?
Guards: We don't know sir, she just escaped-
??????: Don't tell me WHAT I ALREADY KNOW!
The mysterious character turns around in his chair.
??????: Now who am I to you, Guards 34 and 57?
Guards: The Warden sir.
Warden: Exactly. Deploy Dragonflies now. Find her!
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Jake: Well we're outside motion tracker range. So, tell me, what do we do now!?
Gracie: We need a ride. Get away from here as fast as possible. Then we need to head to Ferian, 20 miles away from here. We'll be fine in Ferian.
Jake: What's so important about Ferian?
Gracie: Resistance HQ.
Jake: Oh.
Gracie hears something approaching.
Gracie: What is that sound?
Jake: *fearful* DRAGONFLY DROPSHIP, GRACIE FIND COVER NOW!
Gracie finds a small cave nearby. She waits out the dropship's multiple passes, then continues south.
Jake: Close one. But if they catch us, we're due for a 'session'.
Gracie: *defiance shows* They won't.
Jake: I don't know, something about your defiance tu- *Gracie gives him 'The Look'*
Jake: Shutting up now.
Gracie and Jake sprint through the woods.
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Warden: Dragonflies failing? That's impossible! I hereby order the use of XF-27 Incendiaries.
Pilot: Sir, Incendiaries? But the forest-
Warden: Can be replanted. Use them well. Light her cover on fire.
Dragonfly rocket pods are being refitted over the noise of whining engines and tools clattering. The glowing red pulse of the XF-27 warhead shows that it's armed.
Warden over intercom: Remember to keep her alive! Good luck on your mission.
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Gracie and Jake are getting ready to rest.
Gracie is troubled by something.
Jake: Gracie is something wrong?
Gracie doesn't answer but instead remembers something from her childhood...
(flashback)
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Gracie's Father: Get out of here Gracie, you need to go- URGH!
A red mist fills the air and the walls are splattered with her father's defiance. Her father lays dead on the floor in his own blood, while Gracie's Mother gets executed. Gracie sobs uncontrollably while running away from her home, her childhood, and gunshots.
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Gracie: It's nothing... Goodnight.
Gracie closes her eyes with silent tears.
Dragonflies begin to take off a mile away...
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This concludes S01E03 "The Escape, Part Due" of the intense story:
>x-+ The Citadel +-x<
Stay posted for S01E04 "Firing for Ferian"! |
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:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D |
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>x-+ The Citadel +-x<
"Firing for Ferian"
June 5th, 2435
Noslien Woodlands
Noslien, Epoas
Planet of Therien
Gracie wakes up earlier than Jake and contemplates her life so far.
Gracie in her thoughts: What is Lokien's problem with peace? War and 'revolution' killed my family, imprisoned me, and separated me from my friends. It destroyed the happiness in my life. One reason we're going to Ferian is so I can lay flowers on my mother's and father's graves. They were killed when I was 7... Why does this have to happen to me?! I miss my old life. The way things were supposed to be. I'm at least away from The Citadel. But I'm a fugitive now. I'm constantly on the run now no matter what... Jake's waking up. Better stop contemplating and go pick out some food out of my haversack.
Gracie searches through her haversack. She grabs two thermoses of soup and pops them open. She then makes small glowing embers to warm it.
Jake: *groggy* What are we having *yawns*...
Gracie: *less groggy* Soup.
Jake hears Dragonflies to the north.
Gracie: *notices him becomes stiff and alert* What's wrong?
Jake: Dragonflies, probably making a search for you. I wouldn't be surprised if-
[boom boom boom]
Gracie: That can't be good.
Jake: It's not. They're using rockets. Probably to scare you out of hiding-*stops and sniffs the air* -you smell that?!
Gracie: Yes, it's smoke. And smells like na- Oh no.
Jake: Wha- Wait na what?!
Gracie puts away her thermos and packs up her camping materials.
Jake: Wait Gracie, what did you mean?!
Gracie turns around, with a deadly serious look.
Gracie: *stiff, dreadful tone* It's napalm. They're burning the forest to remove our cover.
Jake: *fearful* Lead thy way south then, and quickly too.
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June 5th, 2435
Dragonfly Gunship 1
Noslien Woodlands
Noslien, Epoas
Planet of Therien
Pilot: This is Delta Golf One, keep steady Incendiaries airbursting into the canopy.
Pilot 2: Roger that Delta Golf One. No signs of movement yet.
Pilot: Keep a look out Delta Golf Three, we might see her.
[whoosh whoosh whoosh whoosh BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM]
Rockets explode right inside the branches of trees, spreading burning debris and napalm everywhere. making the atmosphere black with smoke and the ground red, white, and orange with fire. The surface of the forest floor is bleak with fires cropping up everywhere. The fire can be seen for miles.
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Gracie: Those gunships are getting closer! Where's the nearest river!?
Jake: A half mile over those hills! Uh oh, we have company!
A search team finds Gracie and Jake. (Epic fight scene warning) Gracie pulls out her assault rifle and begins short accurate bursts. Jake begins to go akimbo with dual pistols. The forest momentarily has a light show while the search team is still pulling out their weapons.
Gracie aims down her sight real quickly and ppulls the trigger ever so slightly... [BLAM](slowmotion) the bullet spirals around in midair as it hurls towards the guard's head, the shockwave trailing distorting the air, and then it flies straight the guard's head, droplets of red fly out of both entrance and exit. The guard collapses instantly... (end slowmo)
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Search Team Member: We found her, but she's armed and a surprisingly good shot- NO WAIT [fwip fwip fwip] UURrrrggh [static]
Pilot 3: Delta Golf Four here, I just lost comms with Search Team Foxtrot. No Vital sigs either.
Pilot: Confirmed, head to last location they were alive and pinged on our sensors. This Gracie chick could still be in the area.
Pilot 4: This is Delta Golf Two, I've located her. I have visuals. Wait she really is armed, and with a friend too! I just lost 1 engine to gunfire and I'm damaged on the other 3. Fuel tank is reporting a leak, and I have casualities in my crew bay, I'm getting out of here.
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Gracie: A little more Jake, just pull through!
Jake was wounded when Gracie was shooting at the Dragonfly and is now bleeding from his chest.
Gracie: Oh no...
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This ends S01E04 of >x-+ The Citadel +-x<, "Firing For Ferian".
Stay alert to see S01E05, "River of Fire, Souls, and Grace" |
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>x-+ The Citadel +-x<
"River of Fire, Souls, and Grace"
June 5th, 2435
Kadi-Bethed Riverbank
Noslien, Epoas
Planet of Therien
Gracie: Oh no... Jake! Stay with me!
Jake is in bad shape, and the nearest hospital is a half mile away. His injuries are heavy. Dragonfly gun/dropships are closing in.
Gracie: *growing extremely fearful* No! It musn't end this way, it musn't!
(Insert epic music to start playing here)
Gracie is smothered in the red, hellish atmosphere of the forest fire with the evil, grayish black Dragonflies looming ahead. She is afraid that it will end like this, and then something inside her snaps. Her defiance breaks through, and something else shows as well. Her courage. She whips out her AAR-32 and dual wields it with Jake's. She fires non-stop and wildly at the gunship as a last resort. The assault rifle's heavy .55 API rounds slice through the Dragonflies' thin armor like butter. One Dragonfly explodes in mid air from fuel combusting from the Armor Piercing Incendiary rounds. Another Dragonfly crashes to the ground in a blazing heap. Two last gunships remain, and they deploy their teams to try to stop her. She looks under a piece of debris real quick to find ammo and instead finds the gunship's 30mm door HMG. She fires the gun at the teams and then aims at the gunships. The 30mm rips into the lightly armored vehicle, and makes large, noticeable holes while the bullets tear a streak of fire into the night. 1 of the 2 gunships fall out of the air with Gracie's first burst and the other opens fire on her. She turns around and something amazing happens. Blue, glowing runes appear near her eyes, and her iris begin to glow a radiant blue-white color. Runes also appear on her arms and on her shins. She fires a burst that collides with every bullet the gunship fires and then targets each of the weak points on the gunship. The gunship takes extremely critical damage and detonates even larger than the first gunship to explode, and is very visible through the smoke and fire.
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June 5th, 2435
Citadel Emergency Planning
Conference Room 1
Noslien, Epoas
Planet of Therien
Warden: This is unbelievable! She took ALL of our gunships DOWN SINGLEHANDEDLY!!! We have NOTHING! I just LOST HALF OF MY MEN! TO HER!!! THE GUNSHIPS ARE GONE NOW BECAUSE OF YOU BUMBLING IDIOTS!!! CAN YOU NOT DO ANYTHING RIGHT!?! HOW *starts slamming his fist on the table* [slam] DO [slam] YOU [slam] SCREW [slam] THIS [slam] UP?!?!
Search Team that wasn't deployed: Sir, we still have ground forces available and we can stock them with extra armor. She's armed and about to cross the river. If we move now-
?????? ??????: No. She's the military's problem now. Recoup our losses and continue to manage the prison.
Guard: MASTER WARDEN, SIR! *salutes sharply*
Master Warden: Stop yelling and at ease. Now, listen how she got out is not my problem. Our military is pushing farther toward Ferretilios. And the Ferretian Empire is spreading thin. But we need to let a high security threat be dealt with by someone else. She knows. About PROJECT XIONTER. If she gets to the Ferretian, she could remove one of our best weapons. And if she tells the Ferretian Empire about the revelation about our leader... It will shake our empire to its very core. Send out a Level 1 Directive to stop Gracie Theirius Fiers. Because if we don't stop her, she could stop us. Permanently.
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Gracie collapses to the ground, breathing hard and laboriously. She wasted most of her energy pulling off the runes (which was on accident) and swimming herself and Jake to the other riverbank. She makes a fire for the night, dresses Jake's wounds, dresses her own wounds, and unpacks the sleeping gear. She starts to talk to the unconscious Jake beside her.
Gracie: You know my mother always said I was special. That I was destined to help everyone eventually. She was right. I know something that shakes the very soul out of Lokien. Something that could end the war. And you can help every inch along the way. I'm glad you're here, and that I'll have someone supporting me by my side. I'm going to make this right Jake. For you. For me. For everyone.
Gracie starts to fall asleep and lays down purely out of exhaustion.
Gracie: Jake if you can hear me, thank you. For everything you've done so far. For everything you'll help me do.
Gracie falls into a slumber 17.5 miles from Ferian. She saved Jake. And she saved her own soul. But the real challenge lies getting past the military. For now Gracie dreams of the time she had before this whole thing...
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This marks the end of S01E05, "River of Fire, Souls, and Grace"
>x-+ The Citadel +-x< has reached the 5th episode! For this a little bit of bonus content:
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February 3rd, 2430
Ferretian Emergency War Room
Hadetui, Ferretia
Planet of Ferretilios
FerretArmy: We are losing. Bad. And we lost Therien and Gatyred yesterday. Activate the Last Resort protocol. All of our advancements need to be activated too. I'm giving permission to use the Templars. We need a saving grace.
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Okay so the bonus content is a bit short, but it contains a wealth of secrets. Secrets that will be revealed in later episode, and maybe even.. Season 2? For now you must wait until S01E50 to transition into Season 2.
But as always, watch your computer and stay up to date with every episode of:
>x-+ The Citadel +-x<
Make sure to read S01E06 "Cross-City-Limits Running"! |
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All-in-all this has a good base to it. The story could use a bit more development...and maybe adding a touch to the descriptions of the people, the setting, and the fights....I enjoyed that little bit of drama thrown in there and who couldn't love epic powers. So, I approve of this story. Please continue to write and I look forward to the next installment. |
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Well thank you very much. I'm always looking for good constructive criticism. And I plan on making a seperate thread for all of the bios purely because of what you said. You gave good feedback, and for that I thank you. If you want to see more, go to profile and look at my decals. They offer conceopt art of Gracie, Jake, and more! |
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