Feedback on this freestyle?

Join Date: 2012-03-05
Post Count: 490

#75483752Monday, August 13, 2012 7:03 PM GMT

I’m be busting out these raps just like Slim Shady Better watch out for me I’m like the earthquake in Haiti I’ll be scarier than the marine corps Before I go ballistic get yourself out the door People call me magician, people call you a tick But this edition of my magic’s already making you sick This edition’s my nutrition, my ignition for permission To give your raps a rendition, better Call a physician, because your self pays me tuition to give your self an exhibition, you’re gonna need some ammunition to get back your lost ambition, now if You think that was just way too cool You ain’t seen nothing yet, that was all preschool Cause I aim to acclaim, but the game ain’t gonna be the same thang, you’re name’s to blame Cause when I leave you will grieve to believe or perceive this greatness of rap that I have achieved Now if you wanna beat me, you’ll need a gameplan I’ll be better than you, like a guest to Builderman *** Notes: It's almost impossible for me to rap clean, but this is my best effort. I thought up all of this in 1 minute and 10 seconds. I wanted to encorporate ROBLOX into this somehow, so that explains the last line. Hope you all like it!

icecrafter213

Join Date: 2011-10-07
Post Count: 4746

#75483922Monday, August 13, 2012 7:05 PM GMT

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JohnEntwistle

Join Date: 2012-05-04
Post Count: 4195

#75484149Monday, August 13, 2012 7:07 PM GMT

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Motimdy

Join Date: 2012-03-05
Post Count: 490

#75484599Monday, August 13, 2012 7:12 PM GMT

icecrafter213

Join Date: 2011-10-07
Post Count: 4746

#75484693Monday, August 13, 2012 7:12 PM GMT

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Motimdy

Join Date: 2012-03-05
Post Count: 490

#75484828Monday, August 13, 2012 7:14 PM GMT

..? First off, I didn't agree to have one. (I'd win surely) Second off, we didn't have it yet. Makes no sense?

icecrafter213

Join Date: 2011-10-07
Post Count: 4746

#75484889Monday, August 13, 2012 7:14 PM GMT

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Motimdy

Join Date: 2012-03-05
Post Count: 490

#75484986Monday, August 13, 2012 7:15 PM GMT

No, I'd mentally incapacitate you too severely.

icecrafter213

Join Date: 2011-10-07
Post Count: 4746

#75485516Monday, August 13, 2012 7:21 PM GMT

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Motimdy

Join Date: 2012-03-05
Post Count: 490

#75485863Monday, August 13, 2012 7:25 PM GMT

.......... That's the worst rap I've ever heard, the rhyme patterns are uneven, the flow is choppy, and it's awful.

icecrafter213

Join Date: 2011-10-07
Post Count: 4746

#75485926Monday, August 13, 2012 7:25 PM GMT

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Motimdy

Join Date: 2012-03-05
Post Count: 490

#75485964Monday, August 13, 2012 7:26 PM GMT

And, "I'll make you look dumb" isn't the most intense line I've seen.

icecrafter213

Join Date: 2011-10-07
Post Count: 4746

#75486123Monday, August 13, 2012 7:28 PM GMT

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Motimdy

Join Date: 2012-03-05
Post Count: 490

#75486576Monday, August 13, 2012 7:33 PM GMT

And, again, that comment still makes no sense.

icecrafter213

Join Date: 2011-10-07
Post Count: 4746

#75486784Monday, August 13, 2012 7:35 PM GMT

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Motimdy

Join Date: 2012-03-05
Post Count: 490

#75487048Monday, August 13, 2012 7:38 PM GMT

How? You didn't "beat" me. You said a crappy phrase, which wasn't even a rap. I didn't say anything in the first place about a "contest" of any sort. Just stop now. You're spamming this thread with pointless posts.