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I WILL SAY NOW READ IT ALL OR YOU MIGHT NOT FULLY UNDERSTAND ME.
Unfortunatly this is a one man sickness >:( this is a forum to tell you about why i act the way i do why i am a hottable person at moments.
Hi, im jake900210 lots of you may know me, be friends with me, or hate me. but none of these matter because they really are all the same inside....
If you wanna know why im so evil and dark and hate people or just have a bad attitude here is your answer.
Deep down im a depressed teenager sure that sounds average happens alot ya but do you know theres levels of depression, there isn't always a normal depression you will find out.
Im jake90021, my life is very difficult and hard to understand i cuss alot out of anger and that is because im highly depressed. But my deppression is diffrent it has been 6 years now i havent found anything to help me out of it. It all started about 8 years ago in 3rd grade i started to have lower grades and was barley passing elementry school grades over the years up too 8th grade i never failed but i went to summer school and passed on still and went to highschool and finished my freshman year i am now a Sophmore in school and im Dark,Emo,Evil, Brutally chaotic, and depressed i dont look like im depressed or act it (alot) and i feel worst than ever in my life i can do anything without getting bored frustraited or just feel more depressed all my happyness in my life was just taken away at the point my depression started on the year of 2002 i was grounded from that point till 2007 that is 5 years grounded.....no computer, no t.v, no electronics, no entertainment over all those years i was grounded to my room and i rarely did anything but look out my window all day,sleep and eat, 5 years go by my mental state of mind made me change my whole personallity completly because i couldn't take it i had to mentally change my thought's to live without love,friends,emotions of all meaning i feel no matter what,but i never felt the same as a child before i changed i was the nicest and kindest child ever you would know by just seeing me even as a baby i ate everything my parents put at me i never yelled i always agree'd my goal was to make the world better to help anyone i could but that didnt work out to well as time flew by and i had a mental hard attack and then i never felt the same because i just never felt the reason to help i never felt the reason to talk or even be alive ive tryed to kill myself many times once actully did it i cut my arm not like a emo i literly cut it almost 5 inchs but my parents saw me and somehow made me survive i have no active memory of that but i always have a scar to prove it......almost a year now since i did it and it has healed up very well and is hardly noticable but now i look down and see that death failed and then what is there no life no fun and no death what is that then, isnt it like putting a person in a empty prison nothing bad happening nothing good and nothing at all to feel...... i can never seem to find help out of my deppression and thats only the start theres tons of other reasons why im like this
For instance when i was 14 (1 year ago) my friend george burns was dating a girl named cindy johnson and they liked eachother alot i was friends with both of them as well sure more george but thats how it would be and what happened was his cindy got in a car reck and died.....3 days later my friend george killing himself cuz he couldn't take it they where going out for aprroximentally 9 months.......he was a best friend and then he's gone like that.
More Reasons
over the years of grounding i lost over half my friends and most just didn't like me even though i told them i was grounded,
I hate my family now from the depression and i cant stand to be by them or even talk to them but yet i live with them the anger is unbeleive able...
My parents and teachers send me to councslers all the time and they only tell me my parents where trying to help me by doing that and they have appolgized but i dont care anymore they ruined my life and they are bad people i dont care if they gave birth to me i have them and i hate my life!
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You think people like me are a discrace to sociaty think again we dont make ourselfs who we are and you by saying things like that only make it worse! >:(
IM JAKE900210 I HATE MY LIFE AND I HATE MY FAMILY I HATE LIFE I HATE LIFE!
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You think you know me think again this isnt even a start to my life >:*(
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WonkaKidTop 100 PosterJoin Date: 2007-07-21
Post Count: 10804 |
I'm sorry? |
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Thats what this is pretty much expressing my anger and hate into it im sorry but its almost impossable to mean anything i say..... |
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randomrobotTop 100 PosterJoin Date: 2007-07-02
Post Count: 11636 |
I somehow know how that feels. It doesn't happen to me, but I just know how that feels. |
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Its not something that happens's though its been stuck to me for years i cant find help to stop this feeling....... |
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master456Join Date: 2008-01-31
Post Count: 4910 |
wats your sickness?(i dont usally read such a long post) master456 |
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Hmm...try dong things that would make you laugh...watch the demnted cartoons movie, youtube poops, ANYTHING! |
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master456Join Date: 2008-01-31
Post Count: 4910 |
i dont like laughing!! lolz master456 |
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Wow... that sounds bad. But seriously, what could you have possibly done to get grounded for 5 years?!?! |
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crzyroboTop 100 PosterJoin Date: 2007-10-21
Post Count: 5393 |
i don't dare |
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Rex68Join Date: 2007-09-29
Post Count: 2550 |
Jake, what are you going to do now... wait. No. NO. NOW WAY ARE YOU GOING TO DO THAT! PLEASE DON'T SUICIDE! I BEG YOU! DON'T SUICIDE!!! Well, if you aren't gonna suicide then what are you gonna do??? Well, I have 1 question: What was the reason your parents grounded you for 5 years? And, if you don't like your family, then I guess my only advice is to find new parents. Talk to your parents about your feelings. And go find one. |
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please respond to my forum it could help you understand maby your parents are just trying to prect you freom somthing thats out there? |
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MikiyikiyJoin Date: 2007-07-13
Post Count: 10007 |
Oh, that so sad. Would you like me to blend you a smoothie? I have extra I DONT CARE flavor. :) |
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Rex68Join Date: 2007-09-29
Post Count: 2550 |
Mikiyiki are you being sarcastic?! |
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MikiyikiyJoin Date: 2007-07-13
Post Count: 10007 |
I belive not. If he's going to be an emo freak, I decide to help him induce the pain. |
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MalaysianTop 100 PosterJoin Date: 2008-04-19
Post Count: 7134 |
my dad always scolds me and sometimes whacks me(with a stick)
and i really hate him. The end. No emoness,no depression,No avoidance.
Just hate.
so just leave it be,and be strong. The end. |
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Hmmm well that's awful. 0_0 |
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MalaysianTop 100 PosterJoin Date: 2008-04-19
Post Count: 7134 |
I dont care if hes gonna be emo.Its his fault for being so emotionally weak. |
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master456Join Date: 2008-01-31
Post Count: 4910 |
i dont like sucidside!!! master456 |
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I was grounded from grades over the years but from the depression i could never focus enough on school to get ungrounded and then i changed and i hated school even more...... |
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crzyroboTop 100 PosterJoin Date: 2007-10-21
Post Count: 5393 |
do i dare read |
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spearmanJoin Date: 2007-08-01
Post Count: 3792 |
Wow you just wasted 3 minutes of my life! |
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crzyroboTop 100 PosterJoin Date: 2007-10-21
Post Count: 5393 |
Poor Spearman |
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So Jake, it was basically an infinite loop?
Bad grades
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v
Grounding
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v
Depression
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v
Bad grades
Etc... |
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