The Life of a Tree

Join Date: 2009-10-13
Post Count: 3900

#95168913Wednesday, April 17, 2013 11:27 PM GMT

[Dmoney433]: So it all started when I was a seed [Dmoney433]: Yes, I can still remember the soft and loving arms of my planter [Dmoney433]: She had just carried me to a freshly dug patch of soil where, after being place into the ground and covered with dirt, I would begin a life as a tree! [Dmoney433]: But before that, I need to grow. [Dmoney433]: First came the baby years... always crying for food, and water [Dmoney433]: And sunlight [Dmoney433]: Oooh the sunlight.. [Dmoney433]: Then, came the childish years with the phases and whatnot [Dmoney433]: It was always this trend, or that [Dmoney433]: Then, peer pressure hit me as a teenager [Dmoney433]: Will becoming a tree really be as good as it looks? [Dmoney433]: What if I sprout late? [Dmoney433]: Should I lean this way? Or that way? [Dmoney433]: And then, the highschool years came [Dmoney433]: Ahh the golden days [Dmoney433]: I met with this absolutley BEAUTIFUL oak tree named Hazel [Dmoney433]: and man, let me tell you [Dmoney433]: I'd bark up her tree anyday if you know what I mean [Dmoney433]: She was stunning [Dmoney433]: We meet, got together [Dmoney433]: And everything was great :) [Dmoney433]: Until that no good ***** broke my heart cheating on me with a dirty spruce.... [Dmoney433]: "Captain of the Acornball team" tall, dark, handsome [Dmoney433]: The usual.... [Dmoney433]: He was a total maple to her though, man I don [Dmoney433]: I don't see what she saw in him [Dmoney433]: Failed at math, heck, the dunce couldn't even count his own two acorns! [Dmoney433]: Ahh, but yes.. [Dmoney433]: Those were the days [Dmoney433]: Then, I went on to get a job [Dmoney433]: Like mother always told me... [Dmoney433]: What a she-dog mother always was... [Dmoney433]: "Do this, get that! Clean your room! Are you wacking off in there? Is that a girl in there? Are you gray, son?" [Dmoney433]: But she loved me, none-the-less.... [Dmoney433]: I got a decent paying job at Orchard-Mart, as a sales management employee... [Dmoney433]: Had to make sure everything was in stock [Dmoney433]: And that everything was where it needed to be... [Dmoney433]: But then I was fired, when I was caught planting my seed in this girl named Brenda's roots [Dmoney433]: But, it's all ok... [Dmoney433]: I then became a waiter at this fancy restaurant called "TGI Fridays" [Dmoney433]: TGI stood for Tree's, Goodness, Irresitable [Dmoney433]: The food was nice [Dmoney433]: But not the job I was looking for [Dmoney433]: So I ventured out, to an unexplored world! [Dmoney433]: I wanted to give everyone and everything the heads up on the newsest trends, and everything that was happening! [Dmoney433]: So I became a journalist! [Dmoney433]: I went to the Big Apple, and from there I got hired as a news reporter for "Oaks international" [Dmoney433]: The pay? Amazing [Dmoney433]: The jobs? Easy [Dmoney433]: The times I wanted to go for a coffe break and saw Arthur dipping his acorns in my bosses mouth for a promotion? [Dmoney433]: Horrifying. [UCR] Mets: wow [UCR] Mets: sad [Dmoney433]: I know, I was traumatized.... [Dmoney433]: But I kept on! [Dmoney433]: and continued my dream as a journalist! [Dmoney433]: I made a scoop about Kim Redwoodashian's big ash [Dmoney433]: And that landed me on the front page of the New Oak Times magazine! [Dmoney433]: From then on, all of my articles were hits! [Dmoney433]: And that's when I hit the big time! [Dmoney433]: I was originally hired as a stage hand for a movie called "The Orchard Games" [Dmoney433]: Getting the director some coffee, donuts, pastries, etc [Dmoney433]: But then! [Dmoney433]: He decided, "Hey, kid! You'd be good for this movie!" [Dmoney433]: And I took the chance he gave me, became the star of the movie, and never looked back! [UCR] Mets: You are one successful tree [UCR] Mets: lol [Dmoney433]: Now, I've been in tons of movies including Paranormal Treetivity 1,2 and 3, I've been in Tree Kids, and I'll be starring in the upcoming film Mapleman 3 [Dmoney433]: I live in a life of luxury with my wife, and 2 kids [Dmoney433]: And life's just great, man... [Dmoney433]: Life's just great...