WIJ story contest entry. With Jeff and Carolina

NewbControl114

Join Date: 2009-05-09
Post Count: 10303

#100588234Sunday, June 09, 2013 5:29 AM GMT

Could've used a lot more detail. It was like looking at a ribcage of a story.

cashpop

Join Date: 2008-08-11
Post Count: 2984

#100589494Sunday, June 09, 2013 5:47 AM GMT

"Alot more detail." Example please. And is it needed? This is ROBLOX.

cashpop

Join Date: 2008-08-11
Post Count: 2984

#100589666Sunday, June 09, 2013 5:50 AM GMT

Mo' deets, makes it more TL;DR I did what I can. I would get into more detail, if this wasn't ROBLOX and if there were more avid readers here.

iFikos

Join Date: 2013-04-12
Post Count: 3

#100591698Sunday, June 09, 2013 6:25 AM GMT

i actually read the whole thing. it's good + 1234 To my post count.

flintlock1

Join Date: 2011-03-27
Post Count: 230

#100596622Sunday, June 09, 2013 8:11 AM GMT

that was a 10 minutes well spent gj

[rfa#hidefromsearch]

Join Date: 0001-01-01
Post Count: 0

#100597931Sunday, June 09, 2013 8:46 AM GMT

[rfa#hidefromsearch]

cashpop

Join Date: 2008-08-11
Post Count: 2984

#100627735Sunday, June 09, 2013 4:38 PM GMT

ye sure

tommygun3024

Join Date: 2008-12-07
Post Count: 999

#100649375Sunday, June 09, 2013 7:44 PM GMT

I like.

Rilx

Join Date: 2012-03-13
Post Count: 816

#100650062Sunday, June 09, 2013 7:50 PM GMT

lol

annihalator5000

Join Date: 2010-05-27
Post Count: 56

#100650301Sunday, June 09, 2013 7:52 PM GMT

Wait until you see mine :P

ironboo

Join Date: 2008-09-21
Post Count: 932

#100651271Sunday, June 09, 2013 8:00 PM GMT

that intel is quite useful, it can serve as blackmail

Lynix

Join Date: 2012-07-03
Post Count: 889

#100651968Sunday, June 09, 2013 8:06 PM GMT

Jeff & Carolina are destined to OD, just like me and block. -LF

cashpop

Join Date: 2008-08-11
Post Count: 2984

#100665851Sunday, June 09, 2013 10:09 PM GMT

maybe

[rfa#hidefromsearch]

Join Date: 0001-01-01
Post Count: 0

#100666474Sunday, June 09, 2013 10:14 PM GMT

[rfa#hidefromsearch]

cashpop

Join Date: 2008-08-11
Post Count: 2984

#100677630Sunday, June 09, 2013 11:54 PM GMT

wtf voile,

Z007

Join Date: 2010-09-14
Post Count: 11729

#102014942Thursday, June 20, 2013 10:38 PM GMT

ok who do jeff and carolina represent...?

cashpop

Join Date: 2008-08-11
Post Count: 2984

#102015256Thursday, June 20, 2013 10:41 PM GMT

Jeff and Carolina are OCs. Original Characters. They are just simply operatives of WIJ. I don't like using actual members. Only mike is mentioned in here as an insult.

Johnny1017

Join Date: 2008-08-14
Post Count: 628

#102016147Thursday, June 20, 2013 10:47 PM GMT

You win.

HermitOfWar

Join Date: 2012-03-09
Post Count: 4788

#102016550Thursday, June 20, 2013 10:50 PM GMT

82 out of 100

cashpop

Join Date: 2008-08-11
Post Count: 2984

#102199753Saturday, June 22, 2013 4:11 AM GMT

100*/100

Credens

Join Date: 2013-06-17
Post Count: 374

#102968834Thursday, June 27, 2013 1:55 AM GMT

more!!!! i demand more!!!!

cashpop

Join Date: 2008-08-11
Post Count: 2984

#102968902Thursday, June 27, 2013 1:56 AM GMT

More you say :o?

adrien99

Join Date: 2007-08-01
Post Count: 6261

#104430291Sunday, July 07, 2013 8:18 AM GMT

cool

ZeroSpectrum

Join Date: 2011-03-02
Post Count: 315

#104866004Wednesday, July 10, 2013 5:27 AM GMT

@My previous post: This will probably win some sort of award, though. I read through all of it the second time you posted it on the wall. It's predictable and cheesy in a funny way, but also has a basic story line to keep it all together. Most of the other stories I've read have either been strictly serious or strictly comedic, so good job combining the two in an entertaining way.

Kirov_Alexandrov

Join Date: 2010-02-26
Post Count: 1194

#104866017Wednesday, July 10, 2013 5:28 AM GMT

"Jeff looked up to see a black armored behemoth before nearly running into it. His armor was twice the size of a normal person. He wore a belt lined with clips of ammo and grenades. The newest model of grenades, Jeff took note. His helmet was just a normal looking Vaktovian helmet but with a bigger size. The behemoth’s armor pulsated with red energy along the visible tubes that connects to a harness from his helmet to a tank behind his back. Jeff can literally feel the power coming off from this guy. Oh snap." Anybody, like me, who's played Killzone 3 HAS to picture this as the Super Heavy Trooper. The description, for him, even almost matched the Super completely...