cashpopJoin Date: 2008-08-11
Post Count: 2984 |
Helloooooo, this is my entry for the WIJ story contest!
This has a whopping 3,621 words! Not including this.
This is a comedic/adventure story, just in case you bozos don't get it.
I bet I'll get a TL;DR post from someone.
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The sun falls over the mountains of this swamp planet. The creatures all hid in their holes while crickets sing their soothing melody. The foggy, tropical planet serves as a perfect position for an outpost to be built for the Vaktovian Empire.
If you haven’t guessed it yet, it’s Outpost Pyro. This swampy place has gone through some renovations and is now prepping itself to launch an attack. The Intel of said attack on which location is stored in the files of the main terminal located in the top of the tower.
Two WIJ operatives were sent in to retrieve this data.
It was an easy mission. The base is lightly guarded for the time being with a few patrols scouring the area for any threats. It should be no problem for these two operatives.
Everything should go smoothly…..right?
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A Vaktovian officer leads his squad on a patrol around the cave passage. He then suddenly stops and holds his right hand up in a fist to signal the squad to stop. Only the songs of the crickets could be heard, until a bush croaked. The officer and squad quickly fired upon the bush with their weapons, shredding the plant off from its roots. The officer ordered his men to cease fire. As the smoke clears, a dead swamp creature was visible.
The officer then puts away his pistol to radio in his report of the patrol. He feels a hand on his shoulder and he turns around to see a Vaktovian soldier staring at him.
“What do you want?” The officer asked, not trying to hide his annoyed expression.
“So uh sir, we are going back to the base right?” The soldier asked, stammering.
“Yes, of course. I am reporting our findings and we will head back. Now form back up.”
“Yes, Sir!” The soldier began to briskly walk back until the Vaktovian officer pulled him back.
“You are acting awfully strange….” Said the officer as he looked from head to toe at the dirty power armored warrior.
“What? No of course not, sir! I am a normal Vaktovian soldier that has went through the VACs! Hail Vaktus and stuff!” exclaimed the soldier, while sticking his right hand up in an awkward manner.
The officer stared at him skeptically, “Right then. Now form back up.” He commanded.
“Will do, sir!” The eccentric Vaktovian soldier then grabbed the officer’s hand for a handshake, then to pull him in for a bro hug. The officer quickly backed up to stare in shock at the soldier as he walks back to the squad. The officer then readjusts his uniform and walks back in the direction of the base with a scowl, signaling his squad to follow in the trek.
The same Vaktovian soldier walked behind the squad when he heard his helmet radio call. He adjusted the frequency to receive the encrypted call. “Hey, sup.” He nonchalantly said as the frequency stabilizes.
“What the heck was that, Jeff? Your cover could have been blown right there!” scolded the voice from the other end.
“Oh relax, Carolina. That guy’s pants were tighter than the Vak’s policy. He needed a bro hug to loosen up.” explained Jeff as he walked over shallow murky waters.
“Are you serious? You’re supposed to be in disguise! Out of all the partners I had to be paired with, it’s you got to be you. Ah dangit, for the love of—“. The sound of static rose, cutting off the connection.
“Huh? Hey Carolina? Hello?”
“Who’s Carolina?”
Jeff looked up to see a black armored behemoth before nearly running into it. His armor was twice the size of a normal person. He wore a belt lined with clips of ammo and grenades. The newest model of grenades, Jeff took note. His helmet was just a normal looking Vaktovian helmet but with a bigger size. The behemoth’s armor pulsated with red energy along the visible tubes that connects to a harness from his helmet to a tank behind his back. Jeff can literally feel the power coming off from this guy. Oh snap.
“Oh snap, I mean, oh just a friend.” Jeff quickly said while trying to keep his composure.
“Ah so it’s your lady friend huh? Well it’s alright; I have lass of my own as well. That is until my world got blown to bits by those WIJ dogs, while she was still on it…” He grabs a thick piece of log from the ground as they continued to walk. “I’ll break them into pieces!” He broke the log as if it was a twig to emphasis his point.
Jeff looked at him in horror, but quickly recomposes himself. “So uh yeah those darn WIJ dogs. Grr I hate them so much. Oh look we’re here at the base.” The red and black color schemed fortress stood menacingly high over the cave passage. The two towers standing tall, housing all sorts of goodies the Vak’s have stored in there. The main prize being its Intel. The squad moved passed the gate as the officer ushers them in.
As Jeff walked past the gate, he waved to the behemoth goodbye “So I’ll just be going to my post then…CYA!” he quickly slides away inside the building.
Once inside, Jeff took a breather to look back at the slightly ajar door he came in from. The patrol squad he was in has now dispersed and each individual soldier is moving to their posts. The behemoth followed a pair to the other side of the fortress. Jeff leaned back towards the wall and let loosed a breath he apparently held, “That guy, wow.” Thought Jeff. Who could have made such a beast? He probably goes through a month’s worth of rations in a day. Big Boy gotta eat. Jeff shook his head to cast away the thought and to refocus on the mission.
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He walked quickly through the halls, waving to the guards or giving them a high-five followed by a bro hug. The officer that led the earlier patrol looked at the disguised Jeff as he performed his abnormal acts. The officer pulled a Vaktovian soldier to him “Get me that soldier’s profile”, he commanded as he pointed in the direction of Jeff. The soldier then saluted, hailed Vaktus, and went to complete his task. The officer watched as this strange Vaktovian soldier turned the corner, leaving his vision only to leave behind a trail of Vaktovian guards giving each other bro hugs.
Jeff was, needless to say, lost in the catacombs of the base. He was now in the restricted area of the base where only officers can roam. He opened up any doors he passed to quickly scan the room of any anomalies. He found rooms full of weapons and training dummies. He found one room filled with the experimental space juice created by the lab rats of WIJ. He took a bottle or two, for science of course.
Jeff hopelessly wandered about the halls. “How hard is it to find this stupid terminal? It has a dang 100x100 inch screen with humongous hardrive!”
“It’s because it’s on the top of the tower.”
“Oh right, so the elevator is…?
“Right over there, to your left.”
“Hey thanks.”
“No problem.”
Jeff began to walk towards the direction until he realized that he wasn’t alone. He turned his head slowly to the direction of the voice. The behemoth was standing just there. The behemoth had to lean forward and duck his head so he won’t hit the ceiling with his head.
“So whatcha doing here, mate? This area is off limits.” The behemoth tilted his head in a playful manner.
“Just….just…..” Jeff pulls out a bottle of the experimental space juice. “Just popping a brewski! I was going to come find you so we can both drink up! How ‘bout it, buddy?” Jeff said, hoping this behemoth would believe his lie.
The behemoth placed a hand under his chin in a thinking posture. “Hmm well, mate…I don’t know….” Jeff began to sweat. This is it. I’m done for. He’ll know I’m a WIJ spy. This guy is gonna eat me or sit on me. Or maybe he will sit on me then put me a sandwich and then eat me, like some flat bread. “Ah what the heck, give it here!” The behemoth exclaimed while extending his hand towards the space juice.
Jeff sighed in relief and was about to place the bottle of space juice onto the open palm, until he heard a grunt behind the behemoth.
“Huh?” The behemoth turned his back towards Jeff to see what was making the noise. There was someone hanging off the tank of the behemoth. “Carolina?” Jeff said in a hushed whisper.
“Jeff?” Carolina was able to say before the behemoth reached behind himself and grabbed Carolina by her leg, holding her upside down so her muddy WIJ combat uniform is in full view with her long, jet black hair just grazing the floor.
“Ha ha! Look what I caught, mate! Ain’t she a beaut’?” Chortled the behemoth as he gave Carolina a little shake.
“Oh uh that’s neat! Let’s take her to the prisoner cells then.” Jeff tilted his head in the direction of where he believed the cells would be.
“Nah, mate. Maybe we can have a bit of fun with her now…” The behemoth said seductively as he faced Carolina’s upside terrified face. Carolina then finally noticed Jeff holding a bottle of space juice; she looked at it then at Jeff. Jeff looked at the bottle then back at her. Both of their eyes met. They both nodded.
“Yeah sure man, but how about A DRINK FIRST!?” Jeff shouted as he smashed the bottle on the behemoth’s face. The behemoth, taken by surprise, reflexively released Carolina for her to twist around in the air, grab onto the behemoth’s arm and quickly climb up to the behemoth’s tank.
Carolina pulled out her SWD while trying to stay steady on the bumbling behemoth. The behemoth tried to reach for her, but it was too late. Carolina dug the SWD into the tank of the beast. As it entered, the behemoth threw her off and thrashed about, making inhumane pained screams before suddenly stopping and falling over.
Carolina got up and dusted herself off before trudging over the huge carcass over to Jeff.
“So then, I guess space juice does have its uses…..instead of being a symbol of a man that has given up” Joked Carolina.
“Yeah yeah whatever, how about I take you out to the pub sometime?”
“Haha no, shut up and let’s keep going.” Retorted Carolina as she walked in a direction down a hall.
“It’s this way.” Jeff pointed out. Carolina quickly made a 180 degree turn that a boy scout would be proud of.
“I knew that.”
“Sure you did.”
They both jogged down the correct hall to the elevator which will lead them to the terminal which houses the Intel that they need. Out of the corner, a figure stood by holding a radio. “I knew he was acting strangely for a reason…” He then used his radio to call the guards.
____________________________________________
The two WIJ Operatives emerged from the elevator slightly singed from the ascending trip. Jeff takes off his smoking Vak helmet to reveal a scruffy, brown haired individual. “Man that was annoying, how do those Vakkies put up with that?” Jeff complained as he tossed the helmet aside.
Carolina shot Jeff a mean look. “Quit being a baby. You’re a shock trooper. Start acting liking it.”
“Oh touchy touchy, when did you get all bossy? I’ll have you know that I was one of the youngest shock troopers that was ever enlisted!” Jeff proudly proclaimed, producing an off screen light with a choir singing in the background.
Carolina ignored Jeff as she walked down the hall with her Y14 in one hand with Jeff following close behind with the same gun. They made it to the room at the end of the hall, scanned it for good measure, and walked in. Inside the room, it holds crates of unknown material, a huge red-tinted glass panel that a ship can fit through, and a massive red screen that is displaying coordinates and images of planets. Graphs and symbols flew across the screen, the WIJ Operatives guessed it could mean the statistics of the future attack, the stock count of munitions and supply in the base, or maybe someone left a game of online Scrabble on and has forgotten to close it.
Carolina quickly moved to the terminal, placed her Y14 at one side, and quickly mashed the buttons on the red tinted holo keyboard. While she is doing that, Jeff pulled out the extra bottle of space juice he had tucked in his armor and leaned casually on the wall. “Hey so, how long we have?” asked Jeff.
“About a minute or two, I already jacked the USB in and I am beginning to download the data” Carolina quickly answered.
“Wow that was quick, how’d you hack it so fast?”
“I didn’t. The code word to get in was VAKTUSROCKZZXXXX.”
Jeff stared at Carolina as she answered. Then Jeff remembered one thing. “Oh hey, how are we supposed to get out? I’m sure these guys are gonna notice when the Big Boy is gone for this long.” Jeff referred to the disabled behemoth in the halls.
“Oh right, that. Well while I was on my way here, I swiped a-“ Red plasma just barely grazed some of Carolina’s hair as she ducked and rolled away from the terminal.
Jeff turned his head to see a squad of Vaktovian soldiers standing in a firing line at the doorway, their visors seem to glow brighter than usual. Out from the squad, a figure walks past them. It was the officer from before. “Well well well, what do we have here? Two WIJ spies in MY base?”
Jeff pushed himself off the wall and casually strode over about some yards in front of the smiling Vaktovian officer. “Well well well, what do we have here? Mister big, bad and baldy with the goonies wearing Halloween costumes.” Jeff retorted as he held firmly onto his Y14 and space juice.
The officer grimaced from that “Hmph, so you’re a joker huh? Was that the joke?”
“Yeah it is, and here is the punch line!” Jeff then threw the bottle of space juice at the officer. The officer quickly reacted and ducked. The bottle flew over him and it struck the wall behind him, spraying its delicious contents all over the officer and some of the Vaktovian soldiers.
Jeff then quickly tumbled away towards the terminal before the line of red plasma washed over the spot he was just at. Jeff quickly grabbed Carolina’s Y14, which was sitting there on the side, with one hand while holding out his with the other. He quickly stood back up and fired a couple of shots, hitting two of the Vak soldiers on the arm and crotch. That Vak soldier doubled over and cried in pain wishing for Vaktus to come save him.
Jeff quickly tumbled away again as the firing line fired another volley of red plasma. He stopped rolling once he reached Carolina crouched behind a crate.
“Did you really have to make such a cheesy one-liner!? You could have gotten yourself killed right there!” Scolded Carolina.
“Oh does someone care for me?” Jeff grins at Carolina’s sudden concern.
“Oh shut your face. Right now we need to get out of here!” Carolina declared, barely audible over the loud shots from the squad’s relentless firing.
“Well how are we going to do that without the Intel!?” Jeff challenged.
Carolina grabbed her Y14 from Jeff and rolled out of cover. She back flipped over another crate, taking a few shots at the Vak soldiers, hitting one square in the face. She rolled towards the terminal, quickly pulled the USB out, and then rolled back towards Jeff, not before shooting off the cap of the Vak officer.
Jeff leaned over the crate to see the officer scrambling for his cap. “Haha! So you were bald!” Jeff chortled as he leaned back into cover. “Hey nice moves there. That was super-hot. So how are we gonna get out? I am pretty sure these fellas won’t let us leave without our heads being nothing more than mushy red paste.”
Carolina recoiled from that “Do you really have to say disgusting things like that?”
“Yes.” Jeff answered flatly.
“No wonder you’re alone.” Carolina rolled her eyes.
“Oh shaddup, you weren’t exactly miss social either. Remember when you first enlisted? My god, you were fumbling the W17 like an idiot!”
“Says you, remember when you took a Technical out for a joyride? You crippled Colonel Lucario with the dang thing!”
“Oh now that was uncalled for.”
“Our deaths will be uncalled for if we don’t get out!” Carolina flinched as red plasma took a chip off the crate.
“Ok so what’s your brilliant plan then huh?” Jeff raised an eyebrow
“This is my plan.” Carolina pulled out a gray remote from her hand.
“Is that a…?” Jeff began to ask.
“Yep, now trust me on this one.” Carolina then leaned forward to whisper into Jeff’s ear.
The Vak officer grumbled as the Vak soldiers continuously fired on the crate those WIJ Operatives were behind. What is that thing made out of? It’s thicker than one of the general’s head. The Vak officer than called his men for a cease fire. He walked in front of them to get a closer look at the crate. Only scratches and a few chips were missing on it. The officer signaled his men to advance towards the crate. We have them now, he thought.
Then suddenly, Carolina and Jeff jumped from the crate, firing their Y14 at the Vak soldiers as they ran to the glass panel. Carolina fired a shot at the window and both she and Jeff dolphin dived out.
The officer was dumbfounded at such an act. He quickly composed himself and ran over the broken pieces of glass to look outside of the panel. He was then quickly blown back, landing on his back. He sat back up to see a Drone carrying the two intruders. They waved at him before speeding off into the fog, out of sight.
The officer sat there for a while before standing back up. He kept his gaze on the spot where the Drone was. The Vaktovian soldiers stood behind the officer gazing at the same spot. The officer breaks away from the trance to order his men to clean up the mess. He stopped one Vak soldier and commanded him to bring him a bottle of the stolen space juice. He had a long day.
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“So then, this is the Intel we so wanted huh?” the commanding WIJ Officer said, as he stared at the screen that shows an image of Vaktus trying out a new suit in front of a mirror. The scruffy looking WIJ Officer sat in a chair in a conference room next to a TV with Jeff and Carolina in the WIJ nerve center of the WIJ HQ.
Jeff and Carolina blushed from the embarrassment. They infiltrated a Vaktovian base, took down a behemoth, and outsmarted a Vaktovian officer, only to escape with a picture of Vaktus getting ready for his prom.
“Well sir, at least we know what clothing store he usually goes to. Hehe.” Jeff said, trying to lighten up the mood.
“Look, Jeff, I can expect this sort of behavior from you, what with your logs and such, but Carolina?” The officer faced her. “This isn’t something I expect from you. This is very disappointing.”
Carolina looked down in shame. “Yes, sir. I’ll do better, sir.”
The officer sighed “Well alright, dismissed.”
Jeff and Carolina saluted, about faced, and then left the room.
After a trip through the teleporter, Jeff and Carolina walked silently into the booth with the snack machine. The both sat down on either side of the couch. Carolina still has her eyes casted down. Jeff went to the snack machine and bought a bottle of space juice. He walked over to Carolina and offered it to her.
“Hey, it’s alright. Everybody is gotta screw up now and then.” Jeff reassured her. Still Carolina kept quiet, but she did take the bottle offered.
Jeff stood there for a moment. He was about to give up when suddenly Carolina started to giggle. Jeff was taken aback and confused. Why was she laughing?
Carolina then slowed down her laughing and lifted her face up. “So we did all that, just to come back with that sort of Intel. Some Intel right?”
“Mm hmm, quality Intel right there. Maybe we can go to that store, get the drop on him, and pour space juice all over his suit. You think he’s uptight now, wait till you see him when his suit really tightens him up!” Jeff then slapped his knee and laughed heartily.
Carolina also joined in with a giggle. She then got up, took a step toward Jeff, and broke the bottle of space juice on his head.
Jeff was taken by surprise and backed up. “Hey!? What the heck was that for?”
“That was for being such an idiot during the mission.” Carolina retorted.
“Oh go jump in Mike’s bed! Now I gotta get my Casual uniform dry cleaned thanks to you!” Jeff said with an annoyed expression.
“Space juice does have its uses, you know.” Carolina winked.
Jeff skeptically stared at Carolina for a moment before letting loose a chuckle.
“It sure does.”
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