hwen4Join Date: 2008-10-11
Post Count: 8538 |
A zombie roleplay.... In three acts.
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General Rules
The Game Master will determine reactions to actions
The Game Master will also determine the events between acts
Listen to the Game Master
General Roblox Rules Apply
No romantic relationships may be present between players
PG-13 Violence, and language allowed.
Please fill out ALL of the character sheet
No Meta-gaming
Please use proper grammar to some extent
Do not argue or complain with the Game Master.
Enjoy
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(2005) Some of us saw it coming, others lived in blissful ignorance. As it turns out, all the chemicals we use to protect our crops would come around to be our undoing. Without concern or thought, science fixed natures "imperfections", but it's never that simple.
It started in Pennsylvania. A nasty flu spreading like wildlife. Scary, but nothing we hadn't seen before. It would be handled without ever causing the rest of us concern. But like I said, it wasn't that simple. People started dying. Hospitals filled quicker than they could heal. And soon, so did the morgues. It spread on planes, boats, any means of travel that needed people. It went global before we realized we couldn't contain it. Then the unthinkable happened. The dead did not stay dead. Those lost to the New Plague were reanimated, with an unending craving for flesh. Emergency services couldn't keep up, and the Military was entirely unprepared for the new threat. And that's where we begin.
May 17, 2005. Albany, New York
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---- [ BASIC ] ---- (Thank you Rogdata)
Name:
Age:
Gender:
Nationality:
Ethnicity:
Police/Criminal/Legal record:
Birth date:
Birth place:
Current residence:
Occupation:
Hobbies/Pastimes:
Talents/Skills:
----- [ Past History ] -----
Hometown:
First Memory:
Most important childhood event(s) that still affects him/her; how/why:
Past failures s/he would be embarrassed to have people know about and why:
Biggest role model and why:
Backstory:
----- [ Physical Characteristics ] -----
Height:
Weight:
Posture:
Build (body structure):
Skin:
Hair (color, length, usual style):
Eyes:
Face shape:
Most Common Used Expression:
Glasses/Contacts:
Tatoos/Scars:
Left or right handed?:
Distinguishing features:
Who does s/he take after; mother or father or neither?:
What do they typically wear?:
Accessories (necklace, piercings, wrist watches):
Common Health Status (are they usually sickly, or do they mostly stay healthy all year?):
----- [ Quirks ] -----
Is s/he generally balanced or clumsy?:
Describe their mannerisms/poses/movement:
Habits/Obsessions:
Speech patterns:
Unique phrases:
Do they curse, and if so, to what extent: Same with this.
Describe their sleep patterns (light/heavy sleeper, insomniac, sleeps too often, etc):
Do they commonly get nightmares?:
----- [ Psychological Attributes ] -----
Known languages:
List a few goals/desires in their life:
Secret desires:
How self-confident is s/he?:
How do they believe s/he is perceived by others?:
What is the character most proud of?:
What does s/he like least about his/herself?:
How do they express themselves around friends versus around strangers?:
Is this character generally dominant or submissive?:
Level of patience (the patience of a mossy rock in a zen garden, vs, the patience of Rog's mother without coffee on a Monday morning..):
Describe his/her sense of humor (dirty, anti-jokes, puns, inside jokes, dark humor, etc):
Biggest Physical Vulnerability:
Biggest Emotional Vulnerability:
Optimist or pessimist:
Fears/phobias:
Biggest regret:
Biggest accomplishment:
Character's darkest/deepest secret:Hm... Yeah, let's do that
----- [ Emotional Status ] -----
Describe character's sense of morals:
What do they consider taboo (something they personally would never do):
Character's etiquette (manners in public):
Character's sense of self-control:
Spontaneous or structured?:
Instinctual or logical?:
How has this character most changed from youth?:
Has this character dealt with the loss of someone they loved?:Yes No
How does this character deal with or react to...:
Conflict/Danger:
Rejection:
Fright:
Pain:
Stress:
Guilt:
Being insulted (superficially: name calling, etc):
Praise:
Being loved:
Being hated:
Humiliation:
How does this character express...:.
Anger:
Sadness:
Fear:
Happiness/Excitement:
Love:
Stress:
Dislike (of a person, thing, or idea):
Approval (of a person, thing, or idea):
What does this character think/feel about...:
Children:
Family/Family Values:
Friendship/Other relationships:
Education:
How does the character view life?:
How does the character view death?:
How does the character view society?:
What does the character want out of life?:
What does this character consider 'success' to be?:
What would the character like to change in his/her life?:
What motivates this character and why?:
What discourages this character and why?:
What makes this character happy and why?:
What makes this character sad and why?:
What makes this character angry and why?:
----- [ Relationship Skills ] -----
Is s/he criticizing/judgmental of others?:Yes No
Describe their sense of trust:
What type of individuals does s/he like or associate with?:
----- [ Family ] -----
Did this character know their birth parents?:Yes No
Are the parents still alive?:Yes No
Was this character raised by someone other than their parents?:Yes/No/alone
Did/does s/he have any siblings?:Yes/No |
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soardloJoin Date: 2008-04-24
Post Count: 19593 |
Theres more CS than plot info/story.....
Dear mother of CS.... |
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It is the ULTIMATE CHARACTER sheet. we actually cut out like, 10 lines. |
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(That is a long CS, but I accept the challenge.)
---- [ BASIC ] ----
Name: Alanna A. Allison
Age: 15
Gender: Female
Nationality: Swedish
Ethnicity: White?
Police/Criminal/Legal record: None, unless you count stealing pencils in 3rd grade.
Birth date: 09/09/1998....not sure about the year
Birth place: Lund, Sweden
Current residence: San Francisco, CA
Occupation: Student
Hobbies/Pastimes: Reading, acting, singing, doing puzzles
Talents/Skills: Well, look at the hobbies, first of all. Also: agility (running and jumping) and some basic martial arts skills
----- [ Past History ] -----
Hometown: Boston, MA
First Memory: When she was at a daycare, they were doing a small performance. One guy stood up and preformed a solo, and everyone applauded. Alanna, being jealous, stood up determined to beat him, and so she did.
Most important childhood event(s) that still affects him/her; how/why: Her best friend was a boy, so she became a tomboy-ish person. She always remembers this because when Alanna started to grow up, people began teasing her.
Past failures s/he would be embarrassed to have people know about and why: Uh....there are SO many. For example, losing a math competition to her worst enemy. It's pretty obvious why. Also, one day, when Alanna was at her martial arts lesson (She used to take them), she accidently knocked a guy out......kinda got in trouble for that and got kicked out of class....
Biggest role model and why: Her mom. Alanna has always admired the fact that her mom is a true feminist, and a genius at the same time.
Backstory: Oh, joy. Alanna was born in Lund, Sweden, but she has hardly any memories of that. The memories begin when she moved to Boston, MA. Alanna lived there for most of her life, until about 4th grade. At that point, she moved to San Francisco, California. There, she had to begin a new life, with new friends.
----- [ Physical Characteristics ] -----
Height: A little below 5'2"
Weight: Uh....I don't know what average weight is, but I'm going to go with 107.4
Posture: Powerful, in charge, commanding
Build (body structure): Limber, agile, not very muscular
Skin: pale white
Hair (color, length, usual style): Caramel colored hair, going down to a bit below her shoulders. It's way, and gets in her eyes, so Alanna usually ties it up in either two pigtails or a ponytail.
Eyes: Blue, almost grey
Face shape: Heart Shaped
Most Common Used Expression: "I think I'd know if I were wrong", or "I told you so."
Glasses/Contacts: Nope.
Tatoos/Scars: Alanna has tons of scars on her knees, having ridden a bike around bumpy neighborhoods.
Left or right handed?: right
Distinguishing features: Nothing, really. Alanna's biggest feature is her eyes, which aren't common where she lives.
Who does s/he take after; mother or father or neither?: She has her father's exact face. It's kinda creepy, actually. However, her hair copies her mother.
What do they typically wear?: Alanna usually wears long, dark colored jeans and some type of shirt. This can mean a t-shirt, a lnog-sleeved shirt, really whatever she pulled out of the drawer first. Alanna also has a pink, snowflake-design jacket with fake fur on the inside that she wears everywhere.
Accessories (necklace, piercings, wrist watches): Alanna's ears are pierced, and she usually wears earrings, if only to keep the holes from closing. She also has a golden chain necklace with an amethyst on it, given to her by her mother.
Common Health Status (are they usually sickly, or do they mostly stay healthy all year?): Alanna has allergies, so she always gets sick during the spring, but other than that? Yeah, she stays pretty healthy.
----- [ Quirks ] -----
Is s/he generally balanced or clumsy?: Don't even get me started on how clumsy Alanna is.
Describe their mannerisms/poses/movement: Alanna hates showing off any part of her body, and doesn't exactly flaunt any part of herself. Her posture is more powerful, with legs in a stance that's hard to shake and her arms crossed against her chest.
Habits/Obsessions: Alanna bites her nails, and can't stop. She also twirls her hair around, usually when she's lying or trying to get information out of someone.
Speech patterns: Alanna has no speech problems, seeing as how she loves to talk. In fact, you might even say that she *gasp* talks too much.
Unique phrases: "Poking around" - searching something, and Alanna also randomly makes up words. These words aren't real words, and yet people know exactly what she means.
Do they curse, and if so, to what extent: NO. Never. Alanna has sworn one time in her life, when she was 7 and didn't know what it meant.
Describe their sleep patterns (light/heavy sleeper, insomniac, sleeps too often, etc): Insomniac. Alanna has trouble sleeping because although her body says 'sleep....' her brain says 'Nope. Let's think about things!'
Do they commonly get nightmares?: Only one. Alanna has a recurring nightmare about being paralyzed and covered in bugs. Mainly spiders, but this nightmare varies. Sometimes, it's one giant bug, other times, it's thousands of tiny ones. This dream has gotten worse lately, with Alanna waking up and scratching at invisible bugs.
----- [ Psychological Attributes ] -----
Known languages: Swedish, English, French
List a few goals/desires in their life: Going to UC Berkley, staying an honors student, winning everything.
Secret desires: Finding a guy who isn't an idiot.
How self-confident is s/he?: Very self-confident. In the sense that Alanna thinks that she is never wrong.
How do they believe s/he is perceived by others?: She thinks that everyone else sees her as annoying and mischievous.
What is the character most proud of?: Her skills in school, memorization, and lying/acting.
What does s/he like least about his/herself?: Alanna hates that she cares about her looks, no matter how slightly. She's also constantly fearing saying something wrong, and mentally goes over every conversation she has to find flaws in it.
How do they express themselves around friends versus around strangers?: Alanna changes A LOT. Every one of her friends sees her differently, and around strangers? Well, that's when Alanna is most like herself. She jokes around, teases people, and makes new friends easily.
Is this character generally dominant or submissive?: Dominant. I though that would be clear by now.
Level of patience: How low can you go? Alanna has NO patience, except when it comes to books.
Describe his/her sense of humor: Inside jokes, and jokes that make fun of people.
Biggest Physical Vulnerability: The fact that she has no muscles.
Biggest Emotional Vulnerability: She's very dependent on people liking her.
Optimist or pessimist: Optimist
Fears/phobias: SPIDERS. And she's recently gotten over her fear of heights.
Biggest regret: Losing her best friend recently, over something silly.
Biggest accomplishment: Everything! No, I dunno. She doesn't really know what that is.
Character's darkest/deepest secret: Uh.....nope.
----- [ Emotional Status ] -----
Describe character's sense of morals: Morals? Pfft. Alanna is very immoral, but she will stick up for others.
What do they consider taboo (something they personally would never do): Swear, flirt with a boy, change herself to become popular.
Character's etiquette (manners in public): Alanna is usually not very out-spoken during large parties, but when there aren't many other people around, she becomes talkative and happy again.
Character's sense of self-control: Uh.....nonexistent?
Spontaneous or structured?: Spontaneous
Instinctual or logical?: Logical
How has this character most changed from youth?: She's become more aware of how other people feel, and a tiny bit more mature.
Has this character dealt with the loss of someone they loved?:No.....not in the sense of death.
How does this character deal with or react to...:
Conflict/Danger: Standing up and fighting
Rejection: Curling up in a ball and mentally plotting to run away
Fright: Calming herself down, breathing slowly.
Pain: Telling herself that it's just mental and that she can ignore it.
Stress: Procrastination FTW!
Guilt: Simply ignoring it.
Being insulted (superficially: name calling, etc): Sticks and stones, my friend.
Praise: Tries to look humble while secretly adoring it.
Being loved: Feels kinda awkward, but likes it nonetheless
Being hated: Depends on who hates her. If it's someone she hates, bring it on! If it's someone she wants to impress, Alanna will go out of her way to make them like her.
Humiliation: Laugh it off.
How does this character express...:.
Anger: Silently, sulking
Sadness: See anger.
Fear: Tries to get other's help
Happiness/Excitement: Tells the entire world!
Love: Hides it.
Stress: Gets a bit more annoyed
Dislike (of a person, thing, or idea): Hides it while secretly plotting murder.
Approval (of a person, thing, or idea): It varies, depending on what the approval is of.
What does this character think/feel about...:
Children: Aw :D
Family/Family Values: Family is very important, and it should be put first
Friendship/Other relationships: Friends are your family, and they are equal
Education: Education is vital to survival.
How does the character view life?: Life is meant to be lived in the present!
How does the character view death?: No. Don't even think about it.
How does the character view society?: It's corrupt.
What does the character want out of life?: perfection
What does this character consider 'success' to be?: A nice family, money, a good job, and overall happiness
What would the character like to change in his/her life?: Her social ranking
What motivates this character and why?: She pretty much just tells herself stubbornly that 'If I can't do it, then someone else will beat me, and that can't happen.'
What discourages this character and why?: Being rejected, because so much of Alanna is based off of what others think of her.
What makes this character happy and why?: Puppies! Kitties! It should be obvious. Also, laughing with her friends? That's the best medicine
What makes this character sad and why?: Finding out that someone's been lying to her. It makes Alanna feel betrayed and lost.
What makes this character angry and why?: Idiots and bullies, it should be obvious why.
----- [ Relationship Skills ] -----
Is s/he criticizing/judgmental of others?:Yes
Describe their sense of trust: Alanna trusts her close friends and family, and no one else.
What type of individuals does s/he like or associate with?: People who make her laugh
----- [ Family ] -----
Did this character know their birth parents?:Yes
Are the parents still alive?:Yes
Was this character raised by someone other than their parents?:No
Did/does s/he have any siblings?:Yes
(Wow.) |
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(FYI, I couldn't possibly imagine a character that detailed, so I pretty much copied my best friend's life history.) |
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HASARASJoin Date: 2010-02-26
Post Count: 2330 |
A zombie roleplay.... In three acts.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
General Rules
The Game Master will determine reactions to actions
The Game Master will also determine the events between acts
Listen to the Game Master
General Roblox Rules Apply
No romantic relationships may be present between players
PG-13 Violence, and language allowed.
Please fill out ALL of the character sheet
No Meta-gaming
Please use proper grammar to some extent
Do not argue or complain with the Game Master.
Enjoy
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(2005) Some of us saw it coming, others lived in blissful ignorance. As it turns out, all the chemicals we use to protect our crops would come around to be our undoing. Without concern or thought, science fixed natures "imperfections", but it's never that simple.
It started in Pennsylvania. A nasty flu spreading like wildlife. Scary, but nothing we hadn't seen before. It would be handled without ever causing the rest of us concern. But like I said, it wasn't that simple. People started dying. Hospitals filled quicker than they could heal. And soon, so did the morgues. It spread on planes, boats, any means of travel that needed people. It went global before we realized we couldn't contain it. Then the unthinkable happened. The dead did not stay dead. Those lost to the New Plague were reanimated, with an unending craving for flesh. Emergency services couldn't keep up, and the Military was entirely unprepared for the new threat. And that's where we begin.
May 17, 2005. Albany, New York
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
---- [ BASIC ] ---- (Thank you Rogdata)
Name: Jack Ryan
Age: 23
Gender: Male
Nationality: Grecian
Ethnicity: Caucasian
Police/Criminal/Legal record: Two counts of vandalism, one count of arson.
Birth date: 8/2/84
Birth place: Athens
Current residence: Athens
Occupation: Pilot
Hobbies/Pastimes: Playing with model planes, video games.
Talents/Skills: Flying, endurance running, screwing around.
----- [ Past History ] -----
Hometown: Athens
First Memory: Seeing an F-16 fly over his beach home.
Most important childhood event(s) that still affects him/her; how/why: Going for his first plane ride, as it influenced his entire life from there.
Past failures s/he would be embarrassed to have people know about and why: Denied by the Grecian military two out of three times, nearly crashed into a radio tower.
Biggest role model and why: Amelia Earhart, because she was one of the bravest pilots he can think of and revolutionized flying.
Backstory:
----- [ Physical Characteristics ] -----
Height: 6'1
Weight: 131 pounds
Posture: Generally slouched and relaxed.
Build (body structure): A little thin, but not scrawny.
Skin: Caucasian
Hair (color, length, usual style): Brown bowl cut at temple-length.
Eyes: Blue
Face shape: Narrow
Most Common Used Expression: Smile
Glasses/Contacts: None
Tatoos/Scars: None
Left or right handed?: Left
Distinguishing features: Dotted birthmark on his forehead.
Who does s/he take after; mother or father or neither?: Neither
What do they typically wear?:White undershirt under a brown jacket, old faded jeans.
Accessories (necklace, piercings, wrist watches):
Common Health Status (are they usually sickly, or do they mostly stay healthy all year?):
----- [ Quirks ] -----
Is s/he generally balanced or clumsy?: A bit of a klutz.
Describe their mannerisms/poses/movement: Varies for feeling.
Habits/Obsessions: Flying.
Speech patterns: Will often descend from a sentence into a high-speed rant.
Unique phrases: "Holy macaroni in a purple pony!"
Do they curse, and if so, to what extent: Yes, but very little.
Describe their sleep patterns (light/heavy sleeper, insomniac, sleeps too often, etc): Doesn't get much sleep, always tossing and turning.
Do they commonly get nightmares?: No.
----- [ Psychological Attributes ] -----
Known languages: Greek, Ancient Greek, English.
List a few goals/desires in their life: To be the most renowned pilot ever.
Secret desires: Lighting things on fire.
How self-confident is s/he?: Not very.
How do they believe s/he is perceived by others?: Weird.
What is the character most proud of?: His flying skills.
What does s/he like least about his/herself?: His weight.
How do they express themselves around friends versus around strangers?: Around friends he's open and cheery, while he's shy around strangers.
Is this character generally dominant or submissive?: In the middle.
Level of patience (the patience of a mossy rock in a zen garden, vs, the patience of Rog's mother without coffee on a Monday morning..): Very impatient.
Describe his/her sense of humor (dirty, anti-jokes, puns, inside jokes, dark humor, etc): All of the above.
Biggest Physical Vulnerability: Take a guess.
Biggest Emotional Vulnerability: His appearance.
Optimist or pessimist: Optimist
Fears/phobias: Spiders, stinging bugs.
Biggest regret: Not carrying around gasoline.
Biggest accomplishment: Learning to fly.
Character's darkest/deepest secret: He's an arsonist.
----- [ Emotional Status ] -----
Describe character's sense of morals: Killing is bad, maiming is not preferred, hurting is okay, vandalism is fun.
What do they consider taboo (something they personally would never do): Burn a hospital.
Character's etiquette (manners in public): Polite and shy.
Character's sense of self-control: Decent.
Spontaneous or structured?: Structuredtaneous.
Instinctual or logical?: Instinctual
How has this character most changed from youth?: Grown bigger.
Has this character dealt with the loss of someone they loved?:Yes
How does this character deal with or react to...:
Conflict/Danger: Fighting or getting the crap out of there.
Rejection: Stays glum for a while before returning to normal.
Fright: Spontaneous reactions.
Pain: Fighting or flying.
Stress: Pacing
Guilt: Nervous movements.
Being insulted (superficially: name calling, etc): Returning insults.
Praise: Beaming.
Being loved: Appreciation and happiness.
Being hated: Sulking.
Humiliation: Anger.
How does this character express...:.
Anger: Clenched teeth, mad expression, pacing very fast.
Sadness: The occasional sigh with a crummy feeling about him.
Fear: Moving on instinct, very on edge.
Happiness/Excitement: Doing a little dance.
Love: Humming happily.
Stress: Pacing, pulling at hair.
Dislike (of a person, thing, or idea): Boats.
Approval (of a person, thing, or idea): Planes.
What does this character think/feel about...:
Children: Indifferent.
Family/Family Values: Strongly approves.
Friendship/Other relationships: Optional, but good to have.
Education: May help in the long run.
How does the character view life?: Meh.
How does the character view death?: No thanks!
How does the character view society?: Humanity sucks.
What does the character want out of life?: The chance to do something meaningful.
What does this character consider 'success' to be?: Doing something that will be remembered.
What would the character like to change in his/her life?: Nothing as of yet.
What motivates this character and why?: Success or something on the way there.
What discourages this character and why?: Failure, restrictions on him.
What makes this character happy and why?: No one thing.
What makes this character sad and why?: Failing, doing something wrong, disappointing somebody important.
What makes this character angry and why?: Annoyances, snobs, entitled people.
----- [ Relationship Skills ] -----
Is s/he criticizing/judgmental of others?: No
Describe their sense of trust: Trusting enough to be a tad bit gullible.
What type of individuals does s/he like or associate with?: Charismatic and happy people.
----- [ Family ] -----
Did this character know their birth parents?:Yes
Are the parents still alive?: No
Was this character raised by someone other than their parents?:Yes
Did/does s/he have any siblings?:Yes |
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(still working on my CS, I've only had time in small intervals.
I feel like you guys should know that the game does begin in Albany, New York State, so be prepared to give a reason why you're their, seeing as you guys live in San Fran, and Athens.
And as soon as Hwen get's on I need to know if It's okay for my character to have a military background.) |
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hwen4Join Date: 2008-10-11
Post Count: 8538 |
Yes, military personal are allowed, however, your character is a private citizen, and will be on his or her own through the duration of the acts. If you are to create one, please don't do the 'I'm a super soldier' crap.
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Alright cool. I don't plan on any excessive super-soldierey |
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HASARASJoin Date: 2010-02-26
Post Count: 2330 |
(I know it begins in NY. Remember, my character's a pilot.
Also, it is allowable for your character to have a gun?) |
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hwen4Join Date: 2008-10-11
Post Count: 8538 |
In Act 2 and 3, characters weapons will be determined. However, unless your occupation concerns weapons (Police officer, body guard) Or you are a concealed carrying (This depends on the characters personality, fears, and so forth). For the most part, you may not start with a weapon (Since this is day one) However, acquiring makeshift weapons will come fairly quick. |
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I figure after six months we'll either have acquired a weapon that suits our method of fighting, or still be using a weapon we found in Act One (provided one was found), and have grown very comfortable with. |
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coIdplayyJoin Date: 2011-03-20
Post Count: 3884 |
I ACCEPT THE CHALLENGE!
Name: Elisa de Santiago
Age: 19
Gender: Female
Nationality: Portuguese
Ethnicity: White/Caucausian
Police/Criminal/Legal record: No
Birth date: 7/20/86
Birth place: Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
Current residence: Her winter residence is in Seattle, Washington; her summer residence is in Spring Hill, Florida.
Occupation: Real Estate services
Hobbies/Pastimes: Likes doing stuff technology wise
Talents/Skills: Skilled to anything technology wise, singing, rock n' roll dancing
----- [ Past History ] -----
Hometown: Rio de Janeiro, Brazil; then moved south to Sao Paolo when she was 5
First Memory: Moving to Sao Paolo
Most important childhood event(s) that still affects him/her; how/why: Seeing something related to a tsunami, always wanted to see one, luckily it didn't hit her city.
Past failures s/he would be embarrassed to have people know about and why: She was a nerd in school, and was humiliated there.
Biggest role model and why: Bryson Voirin; wants to be a Sloth Canopy Researcher.
Backstory: Grew up in Rio de Janeiro, moved to Sao Paolo when she was 5 for unknown reasons, then she was a nerd in every grade until 12th. She then went to college for two years then she moves up to Spring Hill and buys a $250,000 residence there, then went to Seattle and bought a penthouse for $375,900.
----- [ Physical Characteristics ] -----
Height: 6'3"
Weight: 149
Posture: Relaxed/Calm
Build (body structure): Average build, but it is more powerful looking.
Skin: Caucausian
Hair (color, length, usual style): Black, stretches down most of her back, usually shaken down below, straight most of the time.
Eyes: Deep blue/Bright blue
Face shape: Err.. average.
Most Common Used Expression: Sad/Happy
Glasses/Contacts: No, but she wears shades.
Tatoos/Scars: No
Left or right handed?: Right
Distinguishing features: Tiny cut on her arm that won't go away
Who does s/he take after; mother or father or neither?: Both
What do they typically wear?: Black and white top, black and white shorts with black and white sandals or flip-flops
Accessories (necklace, piercings, wrist watches): A sapphire and ruby wrist watch, necklace made out of pearl, black and white earrings that shine
Common Health Status (are they usually sickly, or do they mostly stay healthy all year?): She is healthy for 44/45 of the year, overall shes sick for only 8 days.
----- [ Quirks ] -----
Is s/he generally balanced or clumsy?: Balanced
Describe their mannerisms/poses/movement: She has good manners, she poses like she's a model, and she usually moves around average.
Habits/Obsessions: Same, she wants to fly.
Speech patterns: Usually says stuff fast
Unique phrases: "Holy wackamoly!"
Do they curse, and if so, to what extent: Curse around 3/10 of the time. Same with this.
Describe their sleep patterns (light/heavy sleeper, insomniac, sleeps too often, etc): Light sleeper, usually sleeps
Do they commonly get nightmares?: 1/10 of her dreams are nightmares.
----- [ Psychological Attributes ] -----
Known languages: English and Portuguese
List a few goals/desires in their life: Want to be a successful scientist, and wants to fly a plane
Secret desires: Eventually she still wants to fly
How self-confident is s/he?: Confident; stands up usually
How do they believe s/he is perceived by others?: Not really
What is the character most proud of?: How she's built
What does s/he like least about his/herself?: How shes always depressed all the time
How do they express themselves around friends versus around strangers?: Average.. asks them some stuff
Is this character generally dominant or submissive?: Average
Level of patience (the patience of a mossy rock in a zen garden, vs, the
patience of Rog's mother without coffee on a Monday morning..): Patient
Describe his/her sense of humor (dirty, anti-jokes, puns, inside jokes, dark humor, etc): Sometimes dirty
Biggest Physical Vulnerability: None, really.
Biggest Emotional Vulnerability:
Optimist or pessimist: Optimist
Fears/phobias: Brontophobia
Biggest regret: Flying
Biggest accomplishment: Being a successful scientist
Character's darkest/deepest secret: Sometimes is mean
----- [ Emotional Status ] -----
Describe character's sense of morals: N/A
What do they consider taboo (something they personally would never do): Never do anything bad
Character's etiquette (manners in public): Very good
Character's sense of self-control: 90% self control.
Spontaneous or structured?: Structured
Instinctual or logical?: Logical
How has this character most changed from youth?: She was happy in her young life; now shes usually sad or depressed.
Has this character dealt with the loss of someone they loved?: No
How does this character deal with or react to...:
Conflict/Danger: Fighting
Rejection: Gets mad
Fright: N/A
Pain: Fighting
Stress: Needs to pace self
Guilt: Guilty when someones hurt [not hurt hurt, I mean like the name calling stuff]
Being insulted (superficially: name calling, etc): Returning insults, saying dirty words and curse words.
Praise: N/A
Being loved: Become their friend
Being hated: Insult them
Humiliation: Humiliate them back
How does this character express...:.
Anger: Mad
Sadness: Sad
Fear: Frightened face
Happiness/Excitement: Happy face, not smiling but a happy face.
Love: Smiles
Stress: Pacing a lot
Dislike (of a person, thing, or idea): Thunder/Lightning
Approval (of a person, thing, or idea): Mostly everything
What does this character think/feel about...:
Children: Good
Family/Family Values: Approves
Friendship/Other relationships:
Education: Approves strongly
How does the character view life?: Happy
How does the character view death?: Ew, no thanks
How does the character view society?: None, really
What does the character want out of life?: Thunder and lightning
What does this character consider 'success' to be?: Remembering something
What would the character like to change in his/her life?: N/A
What motivates this character and why?: Success
What discourages this character and why?: Failure
What makes this character happy and why?: Not usually happy
What makes this character sad and why?: Shes usually depressed about brontophobia.
What makes this character angry and why?: Someone humiliated her or insulted her.
----- [ Relationship Skills ] -----
Is s/he criticizing/judgmental of others?: No
Describe their sense of trust: 85% trustable
What type of individuals does s/he like or associate with?: None
----- [ Family ] -----
Did this character know their birth parents?: Yes
Are the parents still alive?: Yes
Was this character raised by someone other than their parents?: Kind of
Did/does s/he have any siblings?: No |
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(God dis CS tho)
---- [ BASIC ] ----
Name: James Green
Age: 24
Gender: M
Nationality: United States
Ethnicity: Caucasian
Police/Criminal/Legal record: Nothing outstanding.
Birth date: 11/24/1981
Birth place: Troy, NY
Current residence: Albany, NY
Occupation: Electrician
Hobbies/Pastimes: Sketching, Camping
Talents/Skills: Aptitude with Firearms, Skilled Conservationist
----- [ Past History ] -----
Hometown: Troy, NY
First Memory: Disney World, when he was roughly 3 1/2 years old.
Most important childhood event(s) that still affects him/her; how/why: The death of his sister. Kind of speaks for itself.
Past failures s/he would be embarrassed to have people know about and why: At age 9 he read a compass wrong and ended up lost for 7 hours before a Park Ranger located him.
Biggest role model and why: His Father, who taught him most of the skills he prides himself on.
Backstory: Grew up in Troy, and at the age of 19 enlisted in the United States Armed Forces. James served a 4 year term of active duty in Afghanistan with the 101st Airborne Division. He returned home and is currently in Inactive Reserve status.
----- [ Physical Characteristics ] -----
Height: 6'1"
Weight: 192 lbs.
Posture: Dignified
Build (body structure): Mesomorph (Athletic)
Skin: White. Slight farmer's tan.
Hair (color, length, usual style): Dirty Blonde, cute short on the sides (roughly 1/2 inch.), left longer on the top. Top is slicked forward into a messy pointed cowlick.
Eyes: Blue
Face shape: Gaunt
Most Common Used Expression: Laughter
Glasses/Contacts: None
Tatoos/Scars: A small shrapnel scar crossing the right sideburn, as well as a small nick in the right ear.
Left or right handed?: Right
Distinguishing features: None in particular
Who does s/he take after; mother or father or neither?: Mother mostly.
What do they typically wear?: Flannel, Jeans, etc. He dresses for utility on most occasions.
Accessories (necklace, piercings, wrist watches): A black "Spec Ops" watch bought off the back of a Firearm Magazine.
Common Health Status (are they usually sickly, or do they mostly stay healthy all year?): Generally Healthy, but doesn't handle illness well.
----- [ Quirks ] -----
Is s/he generally balanced or clumsy?: Balanced
Describe their mannerisms/poses/movement: Careful and Planned, even when thinking on the fly.
Habits/Obsessions: Organization based on necessity. What he uses most is where he can get too it easily.
Speech patterns: Careful and planned, like his actions.
Unique phrases: "It's all gone to h*ll in a handbasket"
Do they curse, and if so, to what extent: Same with this.
Describe their sleep patterns (light/heavy sleeper, insomniac, sleeps too often, etc): A very active sleeper, he moves around a lot.
Do they commonly get nightmares?: No
----- [ Psychological Attributes ] -----
Known languages: English, German
List a few goals/desires in their life:
Secret desires: The High-Life
How self-confident is s/he?: Very
How do they believe s/he is perceived by others?: Fondly
What is the character most proud of?: His own preparedness for emergency
What does s/he like least about his/herself?: His general lack of confidence regard other people.
How do they express themselves around friends versus around strangers?: He's spontaneous and humorous around friends, but is more restrained around people he doesn't know well.
Is this character generally dominant or submissive?: Submissive, but can be dominant if no one else can be.
Level of patience (the patience of a mossy rock in a zen garden, vs, the patience of Rog's mother without coffee on a Monday morning..): If someone is having issues, and is incapable of whatever has been asked of them, he's remarkably patient, but when refused out of stubbornness, he loses his cool fairly quick.
Describe his/her sense of humor (dirty, anti-jokes, puns, inside jokes, dark humor, etc): Fairly broad, but with a pension for the cornier jokes.
Biggest Physical Vulnerability: He's easily winded by long periods of even light running.
Biggest Emotional Vulnerability: When a companion is lost, James experiences an internal war. His rationality tells him that there's nothing he can do, but his emotions demand that he help, leaving him momentarily immobile as soon as He's not in any danger.
Optimist or pessimist: Optimist
Fears/phobias: Insects.
Biggest regret: Not completing college while he had the opportunity.
Biggest accomplishment: Leaving Active Duty with the rank of Corporal.
Character's darkest/deepest secret: Once succeeded in and got away with armed robbery. Stole 630$ from a liquor store.
----- [ Emotional Status ] -----
Describe character's sense of morals: Strongly resents harming innocent people.
What do they consider taboo (something they personally would never do): Steal Knowingly
Character's etiquette (manners in public): Polite, but sociable.
Character's sense of self-control: exceptional.
Spontaneous or structured?: Typically structured, can be spontaneous.
Instinctual or logical?: Instinctual in Morals, Logical in acting on those morals.
How has this character most changed from youth?: Maturity-wise
Has this character dealt with the loss of someone they loved?: Yes
How does this character deal with or react to...:
Conflict/Danger: Calmly, and with Precision
Rejection: Dismissively
Fright: Poorly
Pain: Anger directed at the cause
Stress: Maintains composure
Guilt: Suppressing it
Being insulted (superficially: name calling, etc): Dismissively
Praise: with Pride
Being loved: treasuring it
Being hated: ignoring it
Humiliation: trying to distract attention from it.
How does this character express...:.
Anger: Violently
Sadness: Sullenly, but doesn't let it get in the way of others' well-being
Fear: Defensively
Happiness/Excitement: Anticipatory
Love: Kindness
Stress: Exasperation
Dislike (of a person, thing, or idea): Sarcasm, Dismissing subjects opinions
Approval (of a person, thing, or idea): Congratulatory
What does this character think/feel about...:
Children: Likes kids, but doesn't really know how to deal with them
Family/Family Values: Holds them in great importance
Friendship/Other relationships: Highly Valued
Education: A nescessity
How does the character view life?: The opportunity to make things better
How does the character view death?: A loss of something that can't be replaced
How does the character view society?: A PERSON is smart. PEOPLE are stupid and panicky.
What does the character want out of life?: The chance to help
What does this character consider 'success' to be?: Improving the lives of others
What would the character like to change in his/her life?: More opportunities to help
What motivates this character and why?: Making peoples lives better
What discourages this character and why?: Impossible tasks
What makes this character happy and why?: Having someone to share his ideas with.
What makes this character sad and why?: Hearing about pointless tragedies
What makes this character angry and why?: Ignorance/Intolerance
----- [ Relationship Skills ] -----
Is s/he criticizing/judgmental of others?: No
Describe their sense of trust: Willing to Trust, but difficult to fool
What type of individuals does s/he like or associate with?: Kind, Concerned types
----- [ Family ] -----
Did this character know their birth parents?:Yes
Are the parents still alive?:Yes
Was this character raised by someone other than their parents?: No
Did/does s/he have any siblings?: Yes
(A day after starting, total work time, 4 hours. She is complete)
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hwen4Join Date: 2008-10-11
Post Count: 8538 |
(We'll start this soon, I have been away for the past three days.) |
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(Made a plot summary for Act Two on the pad btw. I still have no idea where you want to go with Act Three, but we can cross that bridge when we get to it.) |
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unit345Join Date: 2008-02-20
Post Count: 503 |
(A CS for the child of a psychopathic terrorist will be up sometime tomorrow. Marked.) |
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IeningradJoin Date: 2012-09-16
Post Count: 8128 |
(challenge accepted)
---- [ BASIC ] ---- (Thank you Rogdata)
Name: Nico(las) Cameron
Age: 14
Gender: Male
Nationality: Italian
Ethnicity: Pale white
Police/Criminal/Legal record: Clean
Birth date: 2/5/1991
Birth Place: Venice
Current residence: Unknown
Occupation: N/A
Hobbies/Pastimes: Roaming streets,
Talents/Skills: Intimidating people. Nico is extremely agile, making him a good fighter.
----- [ Past History ] -----
Hometown: Venice
First Memory: A hotel roof he was looking at.
Most important childhood event(s) that still affects him/her; how/why: His parents dying. Although that is kind of self-explanitory.
Past failures s/he would be embarrassed to have people know about and why: His previous obsession with World of Warcraft, as it would not fit his prsent state of personality.
Biggest role model and why: He has no rolemodel.
Backstory: The faintest shred of memory Nico remembers is when he was nine. Him and his parents were living in a hotel because his father worked there. A gunmen then broke into the building. Rushing downstairs, his mother and father nearly subdued the man, but they were shot and killed. Nico was also shot, though he somehow survived. He remembers nothing after that.
----- [ Physical Characteristics ] -----
Height: 5'4
Weight: 100
Posture: Straight-backed
Build (body structure): Lean
Skin: Pale
Hair (color, length, usual style): Messy black
Eyes: Black
Face shape: Round chin, and a normal shaped face, I guess.
Most Common Used Expression: Scowl
Glasses/Contacts: No
Tatoos/Scars: A scar on his right hand
Left or right handed?: Left
Distinguishing features: His unsettling scowl, intense black eyes, unkept hair.
Who does s/he take after; mother or father or neither?: Father
What do they typically wear?: Black skinny jeans, black basketball shoes, white t-shirt, black hoodie, and a black beanie.
Accessories (necklace, piercings, wrist watches): A silver ring he was given at his parents' funeral.
Common Health Status (are they usually sickly, or do they mostly stay healthy all year?): In between; he goes through periods of sickness that usually last a week.
----- [ Quirks ] -----
Is s/he generally balanced or clumsy?: Balanced
Describe their mannerisms/poses/movement: Nico usually has his hands in his hoodie pockets. When he is eating, which he rarely does, his scowl deepens. When walking, he moves swiftly.
Habits/Obsessions: N/A
Speech patterns: He has no stutter, and is not afraid to speak his mind.
Unique phrases: "Get away from me before I dropkick you into Russia."
Do they curse, and if so, to what extent: Not usually.
Describe their sleep patterns (light/heavy sleeper, insomniac, sleeps too often, etc): light
Do they commonly get nightmares?: Yes
----- [ Psychological Attributes ] -----
Known languages: Italian, English
List a few goals/desires in their life: N/A
Secret desires: To get an Ancient Roman sword to sell and get money for a life.
How self-confident is s/he?: 21 - 100
How do they believe s/he is perceived by others?: Intimidating
What is the character most proud of?: Nico is proud of his ablility to scare off people with his scowl.
What does s/he like least about his/herself?: His current state.
How do they express themselves around friends versus around strangers?: Scowling deeply until they run away. Nico has no friends currently.
Is this character generally dominant or submissive?: Dominant
Level of patience (the patience of a mossy rock in a zen garden, vs, the patience of Rog's mother without coffee on a Monday morning..): Somewhere in between those two.
Describe his/her sense of humor (dirty, anti-jokes, puns, inside jokes, dark humor, etc): Dark humor
Biggest Physical Vulnerability: The scar on his right hand.
Biggest Emotional Vulnerability: Most of his memories.
Optimist or pessimist: Both
Fears/phobias: Guns, bridges, cars, heights, planes
Biggest regret: Not being able to help his parents.
Biggest accomplishment: Developing a threatening scowl.
Character's darkest secret: He wants to blow up every warehouse and hotel in the world with a thousand tons of atomic bombs.
----- [ Emotional Status ] -----
Describe character's sense of morals: He has no moral. Period.
What do they consider taboo (something they personally would never do): Talk to somebody who acts like an angel.
Character's etiquette (manners in public): He never talks to anybody, but I suppose good.
Character's sense of self-control: Middle
Spontaneous or structured?: Spontaeneous
Instinctual or logical?: Instinctual
How has this character most changed from youth?: From a happy young boy to a dark teenager.
Has this character dealt with the loss of someone they loved?:Yes
How does this character deal with or react to...:
Conflict/Danger: Scowl at them and then dropkick them.
Rejection: Walk away
Fright: Run away
Pain: Suck it up.
Stress: An even deeper scowl.
Guilt: A glint in his eyes.
Being insulted (superficially: name calling, etc): Insult them with Shakespear then kick them in a soft spot or eye.
Praise: A semi-smile.
Being loved: A questioned expression.
Being hated: His usual scowl.
Humiliation: Walk away.
How does this character express...:.
Anger: 10 deep breaths.
Sadness: A felled face.
Fear: Widened eyes.
Happiness/Excitement: Squinting as if saying, "Huh?"
Love: A questioned expression
Stress: Acting like nothing is wrong.
Dislike (of a person, thing, or idea): Rolling his eyes
Approval (of a person, thing, or idea): A subtle nod.
What does this character think/feel about...:
Children: No.
Family/Family Values: Maybe...
Friendship/Other relationships: Hmmmmmm well that probably wont happen so
Education: Who needs education when you can use the library computer to google things?
How does the character view life?: srsly guise
How does the character view death?: Well, bye bye
How does the character view society?: A bunch of slobbering pigs.
What does the character want out of life?: A promising job.
What does this character consider 'success' to be?: Crap.
What would the character like to change in his/her life?: His past.
What motivates this character and why?: The color blue because his mom had a sapphire necklace.
What discourages this character and why?: The color red because its the color of blood.
What makes this character happy and why?: A nice sidewalk to sit on because he's usually roaming the world.
What makes this character sad and why?: Seeing a family happy because he has none.
What makes this character angry and why?: Insults
----- [ Relationship Skills ] -----
Is s/he criticizing/judgmental of others?: In Between
Describe their sense of trust: uh zero percent
What type of individuals does s/he like or associate with?: The ones that don't exist.
----- [ Family ] -----
Did this character know their birth parents?: Barely
Are the parents still alive?: No
Was this character raised by someone other than their parents?: Alone
Did/does s/he have any siblings?: No |
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IeningradJoin Date: 2012-09-16
Post Count: 8128 |
(i lost my sanity halfway through writing that thing) |
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Should we be starting soon? |
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zanra3Join Date: 2009-08-12
Post Count: 1065 |
(I went to copy this and deleted it not meaning to)
---- [ BASIC ] ----
Name: Lorenzo Von Matterhorn
Age: 23
Gender: Male
Nationality: Italin
Ethnicity: White
Police/Criminal/Legal record: None
Birth date: 4/4/1990
Birth place: Rome, Italy
Current residence: New York City, New York
Occupation: Sheriff
Hobbies/Pastimes: shooting guns, playing baseball, and the trumpet
Talents/Skills: Is a good shot, can play the Trumpet, is pretty fast(He is a cop)
----- [ Past History ] -----
Hometown: Rome, Italy
First Memory: sliping in the shower and getting a scar over his right eye
Most important childhood event(s) that still affects him/her; how/why: Seeing his Brother get arrested, it made him want to become a cop
Past failures s/he would be embarrassed to have people know about and why: He is afaird of the dark, he is a grown man
Biggest role model and why: His dad, Because his dad got killed trying to keep the world a better place
Backstory: Growing up in Rome he saw drugs and death everywhere, his dad was shot trying to arrest a drug dealler, then his brother was arrested because "He" killed are father
----- [ Physical Characteristics ] -----
Height: 6"2'
Weight: 163
Posture: Strong, Commanding
Build (body structure): Strong can lift about 180, has a runners body also
Skin: Normal White
Hair (color, length, usual style): Short curly, black, comes to about his ears
Eyes: Blueish-greenish
Face shape: More Squareish
Most Common Used Expression: "Are you really that stupid"
Glasses/Contacts: Yes has Glasses
Tatoos/Scars: Scar over his right eye, and his chin
Left or right handed?: Right
Distinguishing features: his scars and his eyes
Who does s/he take after; mother or father or neither?:Father
What do they typically wear?: He normally wears his Sheriffs Uniform, with his Sheriffs hat
Accessories (necklace, piercings, wrist watches): He has a wrist watch, and a ring his girlfrien has given him
Common Health Status (are they usually sickly, or do they mostly stay healthy all year?): Mostly healthy
----- [ Quirks ] -----
Is s/he generally balanced or clumsy?: He is really Balanced
Describe their mannerisms/poses/movement: He normally keeps his hand near his waist just in case
Habits/Obsessions: Can't go anywhere without his gun and his sheriffs hat
Speech patterns: Has an Italin accent
Unique phrases: "Sir please follow me" and "This is like a Case 590 All over again"
Do they curse, and if so, to what extent: He does not Curse becuase if he does he will get fired
Describe their sleep patterns (light/heavy sleeper, insomniac, sleeps too often, etc): Light sleeper, is a Insomniac
Do they commonly get nightmares?: yes
----- [ Psychological Attributes ] -----
Known languages: Italin, and English
List a few goals/desires in their life: To be the best cop ever, and to get married
Secret desires: None really
How self-confident is s/he?: very
How do they believe s/he is perceived by others?: Like a person they can trust
What is the character most proud of?: Making it to where he is
What does s/he like least about his/herself?: That he never got to see is brother again
How do they express themselves around friends versus around strangers?: He acts the same
Is this character generally dominant or submissive?: Dominant
Level of patience (the patience of a mossy rock in a zen garden, vs, the patience of Rog's mother without coffee on a Monday morning..): Not very patient
Describe his/her sense of humor (dirty, anti-jokes, puns, inside jokes, dark humor, etc): Does not really have one being a cop
Biggest Physical Vulnerability: His Scars
Biggest Emotional Vulnerability: Bullies he was bullied a lot growing up
Optimist or pessimist: Optimist
Fears/phobias: The dark and hights
Biggest regret: Not being the best at school
Biggest accomplishment: Leaving Rome and starting a new life
Character's darkest/deepest secret: He framed his older brothe for killing his dad
----- [ Emotional Status ] -----
Describe character's sense of morals: He has very high moral
What do they consider taboo (something they personally would never do): Get drunk
Character's etiquette (manners in public): a cop so high manners
Character's sense of self-control: a cop so high self-control
Spontaneous or structured?: Spontaneous he has to
Instinctual or logical?: Logical
How has this character most changed from youth?: He went from wanting to be a drug dealer to arresting them
Has this character dealt with the loss of someone they loved?:Yes
How does this character deal with or react to...:
Conflict/Danger: He has quick reflects to what happening
Rejection: He has quick reflects to what happening
Fright: He has quick reflects to what happening
Pain: He learned what to do when every someone is injured
Stress: He is under stress a lot so he is used to it
Guilt: He has a lot of Guilt
Being insulted (superficially: name calling, etc): He is a cop he is used to it
Praise: He does not get it much loves when he does
Being loved: Is used to it
Being hated: Is used to it
Humiliation: Is used to it
How does this character express...:.
Anger: But yelling
Sadness: Does not show it
Fear: Cant show it he is a cop
Happiness/Excitement: By talking a lot
Love: By always beening next to them
Stress: Cant show it
Dislike (of a person, thing, or idea): Dislikes anyone that made money by doing nothing
Approval (of a person, thing, or idea): Milltary people, and other cops
What does this character think/feel about...:
Children: Wants kids of his own
Family/Family Value: Wants a family
Friendship/Other relationships: Does not have a lot of them
Education: Wishs he got a better education
How does the character view life?: He is used to it
How does the character view death?: Deals with it every day
How does the character view society?: Wishs people looked up to him
What does the character want out of life?: To be Successful and have a family
What does this character consider 'success' to be?: Getting a family, and keeping others safe
What would the character like to change in his/her life?: He would change nothing
What motivates this character and why?: His father, he was the biggest role model
What discourages this character and why?: Nothing
What makes this character happy and why?: Seeing a criminal arrested, because now that is one more bad person off the streets
What makes this character sad and why?: Seeing a criminal get away with something, Because there is a chance they lost
What makes this character angry and why?: Seeing a crimeanel get away with something, Becuase there is a chance they lost
----- [ Relationship Skills ] -----
Is s/he criticizing/judgmental of others?: No he cant be
Describe their sense of trust: Very high
What type of individuals does s/he like or associate with?: Other cops and thats really it
----- [ Family ] -----
Did this character know their birth parents?:Yes
Are the parents still alive?:Yes one is
Was this character raised by someone other than their parents?:No
Did/does s/he have any siblings?:Yes but he hates him |
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zanra3Join Date: 2009-08-12
Post Count: 1065 |
Bump |
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Not really much need for bumping.
I'm assuming that since I had a hand in writing this I can accept CSs, but wait for hwens final approval I guess.
Everyone leading up to the last two (save my own CS, which obviously I'm not authorized to accept) seems adequate.
Sneaky and Zanra, there's some issues. Basically both of the Italians.
Sneaky,
First of all, "Current residence: unknown", "Occupation: N/A".
Hell no. You have to live somewhere and do something, even if your occupation is begging.
Your backstory is a bit cliche, but it's plausible I guess, so not an issue. The problem is the fact that he apparently remembers nothing from the day his parents died to the today. That's not even slightly possible. If I'm reading that wrong let me know.
regarding your patience levels, "Somwhere in between the two" is too vague to be acceptable considering the two examples are at either end of the scale. Thats like saying on a scale of 1 to ten, I'm somewhere between 1 and 10. So be more precise please.
He responds to conflict and danger by "scowling and dropkicking them". What the actual f*ck. are you teeling me that in ever situation where he gets into an arguement, he dropkicks the person. Pretty sure that's a far-fetched response to danger too.
Actually basically all of your descriptions of how your character reacts to emotions and cicrumstances are quite frankly, stupid. Rejection: walk away. Stress: an even deeper scowl. Being insulted: Insult them with shakespear and kick them in a soft spot / eye.
Insult them with Shakespear? What does that even mean? WHY IS YOUR CHARACTER PERPETUALLY SCOWLING. NOBODY SCOWLS ALL THE TIME.
And the way he responds to emotions. He gives a questioning look at love? And the same for happiness? Does he not understand either of those emotions? Are they totally foreign to him? This guy is just not human.
Children are No. What? Views life as "srsly guys". What?? His views on education. Not gonna wirte it all out, basically your character is an imbecile. Views society as a bunch of slobbering pigs. I get the impression that's just cause nobody likes him because HE'S ALWAYS SCOWLING.
Again, with criticizing/judgemental. "In between" is not an acceptable answer. Same as with patience. Between the two most extreme settings is too vague.
To summarize. Your character is an unrealistically obnoxious d*uche. |
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Zanra,
Your physical description of his athleticism is a bit "Mary Sue" with him being so athletic, even for a cop, but it's not implausible I guess.
Life Goals: "To be the best cop ever". Could you really not come up with something else?
Okay, Zan, even cops have a sense of humor. Everyone does.
Regrets: "Not being the best at school". I assume you meant not really trying his hardest, because being upset because you aren't perfect is like getting mad at a snail for being slow.
Scars aren't really a vulnerability. They don't do much other than look either ugly or awesome, depending how you view it, but the point is scars are strictly aesthetic in most cases.
He framed his older brother for killing his dad. Wait, you're telling me this man who aspires to be the perfect cop killed his own father and blamed his brother. That makes no sense in any way.
He can't show fear because he's a cop... refer back to the snail analogy. Everyone is afraid sometimes. And everyone shows it in some way. You can handle it better than others, but no one handles it completely.
Seeing criminals get away makes your character sad and Angry. I figure most cops would have figured out that you can't get them all, but whatever.
He CAN'T be judgemental? that's not even possible.
And finally, he only ever talks to other cops? That's a bit far-fetched. There has to be some kind of people he likes to be around besides the Five-O.
In Summary: Your character just doesn't seem human. He's too perfect in several ways, in such a way that things are written to cover up the fact that you're making him perfect. It's got the bad stench of a Mary Sue character about it. |
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I hope these posts help you guys improve your characters, and assist hwen in his judgments regarding accepting players. |
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