@people who signed up for my story

Join Date: 2011-11-08
Post Count: 4212

#146266981Wednesday, September 17, 2014 10:20 PM GMT

Can one of you just check out the first few paragraphs? Just want to see if any grammer mistakes and such are in it

Join Date: 2014-09-12
Post Count: 142

#146267029Wednesday, September 17, 2014 10:20 PM GMT

let le critique see here link please, monsieur

Join Date: 2011-11-08
Post Count: 4212

#146267233Wednesday, September 17, 2014 10:23 PM GMT

http://piratepad.net/udFPJKGCuf

Join Date: 2011-09-24
Post Count: 8461

#146271586Wednesday, September 17, 2014 11:16 PM GMT

A bit short and needs a little more detail. Why did Ran try to take over RPF, and why did he kidnap Pawz and Dai?

Join Date: 2011-11-08
Post Count: 4212

#146277166Thursday, September 18, 2014 12:26 AM GMT

Thats not the whole thing noob ☺