randy295Join Date: 2009-03-14
Post Count: 26637 |
Known as the 1st arc of my dark and edgy story!
The prologue that started it all(Not made by me):http://www.roblox.com/Forum/ShowPost.aspx?PostID=147313147
It might got for like hmmm from:
Chapter 1 to Chapter 30 or I could extend it maybe
-Chapter 1-
Somewhere in Yew Nork,There is a specific house in a specific neighborhood
We find another main character(We'll call him the hero only for chapters 1 and 2) Playing a video game while eating Doritos and drinking mountain dew
"OH BABY A TRIPLE!" He said while playing his video game
suddenly he heard fighting just outside of his house
so he turned off his video game,grabbed his pistol and went outside
...
There he saw 5 of his Neighbors fighting 6 Red republic Infantries(Aka their armor is still pathetic) In a gun-fight
One of his neighbors spotted the hero and told him "Hey! Help us fight those Red republic scums!"
One of the red republic infantries noticed the hero and turned to fire at him but it was too little too late,he was then shot in the chest a few times by the hero
the hero then helped the neighbors fight the rest of the red infantry rebels (Btw all of them died with a few injuries)
"W-Whats going on?" The Hero said
"Well..." The neighbor said
-Part 2 coming soon..maybe very soon-
Any ideas so far?
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randy295Join Date: 2009-03-14
Post Count: 26637 |
Btw the reason Red Republic infantries are so weak is because they ARE that weak
they match the strength of weak enemies that appear early in a RPG Game
they are bound to disappear by the end of the Red republic arc or maybe a earlier/later chapter
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randy295Join Date: 2009-03-14
Post Count: 26637 |
Eh need reviews,criticism and ideas
there is possibly a plot hole in Chapter 1 Part 1 |
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randy295Join Date: 2009-03-14
Post Count: 26637 |
-Chapter 1 Part 2-
"The red republic wanted more land and decided to invade OUR Homecountry!" The neighbor said
"W-What!" The hero said,shocked
"Yes thats right" another neighbor said
"You see,the red republic is a very evil nation and heck they hired crime lords to serve in their ranks!"
"Also-"
Suddenly a explosion interrupted what one of the neighbors was saying
"It must be coming from the Town center!" Neighbor 4 said
"Come on! lets go!" The hero said as they all dashed to the town center
-MEANWHILE in the Red republic Empire-
"So...Hows the invasion going?" The High Commander said
"Well you see sir,we just dropped a mini bomb and needless to say,it worked" One of the soldiers said
"Good....Send in more Infantries and take everyone captive! Shoot the rebels!"
"Yes sir" That one soldier said before walking away
"Eheheheh,Once this town is taken..I'll take over Yew nork and then the rest of the world! Bwahahahahhaha! Hahahahahahahha!"
-Part 3 coming soon- |
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randy295Join Date: 2009-03-14
Post Count: 26637 |
(Ah I need reviews and criticism,I kinda need some improvement)
-Chapter 1 Part 3-
The hero and his neighbors reached the center of the town(Nickname:Town Center) where they see people running around screaming,some got shot and some fought back at the Red Republic Infantries
Woah there are alot of them!
"Its a hard choice,we help our people or we go and hide...What should we pick?" one of the neighbors said
"We should fight and die serving our country" The hero said bravely
"Very well then.."
The hero and his Neighbors charged into battle while shooting Red Republic Infantries
"GO GO GO GET 'EM ALL!" Someone said
"ATTAAAACCCKKKK!"
Battle become fierce as there were many injuries and deaths on both sides
"FOR THE RED REPUBLIC" One of the infantries said before he was headshotted by someone
The hero then duck behind cover while getting into some of the red republic infantry's range,eventually returning fire
"Hmmm what are we going to do to win this?" The hero thought to himself when suddenly a grenade was thrown at the Red republic infantries
BOOM!
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excellent n spicy meme m8 i rate 9/11
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randy295Join Date: 2009-03-14
Post Count: 26637 |
@TeamFailward
I cant resist putting in the OH BABY A TRIPLE Meme |
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randy295Join Date: 2009-03-14
Post Count: 26637 |
-Chapter 1 Part 4-
Backup has arrived@
The Commandos Basically charge right into the Red Republic infantries while shooting them but they die easily...which is their disadvantage
MAJOR Causalities in the other side
Just a few minutes later,there were a few deaths on the good side but the rest of the red republic infantries fell dead..like stupid idiots they are"
"Well we won..Thats right,we took back our town square![formerly center]" One person said
"Yeah!" The other said
"But what are they going to do now?" The hero said
"Dont mind them for now,I think we should rest until another threat arrives" One of the neighbors said
"Yeah...But whats your name?" The hero said
"Scruffles the tough guy" The tough neighbor now named Scruffles said
-MEANWHILE-
-Red republic empire-
"Well sir...our invasion failed and the Yew Norkers took back their town square"
"WHAT?!" The High commander said,angry
"THATS IT! YOU WILL BE PUNISHED TO WORK IN THE RESOURCE FIELDS UNTIL TOMORROW!"
"Y-Yes sir" The soldier said as he scurried off
"Gaah those stupid yew norkers...Maybe we can invade the Substrech? I mean the substrechers arent that strong heh heh heh" The High commander said
-CHAPTER 1 END- |
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randy295Join Date: 2009-03-14
Post Count: 26637 |
Reviews,Criticism and Ideas pl0x
well If you can
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randy295Join Date: 2009-03-14
Post Count: 26637 |
bump |
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randy295Join Date: 2009-03-14
Post Count: 26637 |
Bump 2 |
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randy295Join Date: 2009-03-14
Post Count: 26637 |
Bump |
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North1233Join Date: 2014-02-06
Post Count: 9978 |
Yew Nork? Scruffles? Dumb laughs?
1/10. would never read again. |
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randy295Join Date: 2009-03-14
Post Count: 26637 |
@North
Dont got better name for him
Not unless you have a GOOD Name for him...
Yew Nork..
Uhhh Not my idea..someone else's
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North1233Join Date: 2014-02-06
Post Count: 9978 |
I have a good name for him.
Jason. |
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randy295Join Date: 2009-03-14
Post Count: 26637 |
@North
Great we rename him to Jason then
Thanks for name idea
I'll be sure to credit you
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North1233Join Date: 2014-02-06
Post Count: 9978 |
:D
also call me Seargant pls. just because. :P |
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randy295Join Date: 2009-03-14
Post Count: 26637 |
Okay
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randy295Join Date: 2009-03-14
Post Count: 26637 |
-CHAPTER 2-
I dunno how to start off chapter 2
but the hero,now more aware is researching more about the red republic and stuff on a computer at his home
....He decided to check out a news article online just a few months ago
"Red republic thinking of invading Yew nork and substrech"
The hero decided to check it out...
His eyes widened at the article
-Le part 2 coming soon,when I get some ideas- |
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North1233Join Date: 2014-02-06
Post Count: 9978 |
What about....
the hero goes to the Substreches but is ambushed and captured? |
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randy295Join Date: 2009-03-14
Post Count: 26637 |
(That will possibly be in Chapter 3 or 4 Which marks the first appearance of a poor nation:Substrech)
-Chapter 2 part 2-
Other articles just talked about Yew Nork's Weather or Substrechers being really poor(and taxed by red republic taxers)
The hero decided to shut off his computer and went outside,there he saw his neighbor:Jason fighting and finishing off a random tresspasser
"Jason!" The hero said
"Hmmm Yes?" Jason said
"I found out why the red republic wants to invade us! Possibly for more land and so they can enjoy torturing us!"
"What about it?"
"Well another article DID Say that there might be some Disguised Red republic infantries around here or maybe mercenaries hired by the Red republic wandering around Yew nork!"
"And what do we do about it?"
"Maybe we can find some of them and Kill them!"
"Woah hey there wont our lives be at risk?" Jason said
"Well,we COULD get some allies" The hero said before there were some rustling in the bushes...nearby |
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randy295Join Date: 2009-03-14
Post Count: 26637 |
-Chapter 2 part 2-
The hero and Jason decided to check whos behind the bush
when they got close to it...
Someone popped out and attacked them!
Luckily the injuries arent fatal though
"DIE DIE DIE!"
"Who the hell are you!" Jason yelled
"What me? Oh you dont need to mention MY name,I mean Im a crime lord!"
"A-A Crime lord?!" The hero said
"Thats right,come on out gang members!" The crime lord said as 3 more men in fancy cheesy outfits came out with pistols
"Ah well,looks like luck have left our side..." The hero said
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randy295Join Date: 2009-03-14
Post Count: 26637 |
part 3* |
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randy295Join Date: 2009-03-14
Post Count: 26637 |
-Chapter 2 part 4- (im afraid this might not go too well)
However because of the hero log-Actually not too much comedy relief..
Well Some of them Missed..but one hit Jason on the shoulder
"Jason! Are you okay?"
"Y-Yea I guess.." He said before returning fire(Which kills one of the crime lord's members)
"So you little animals want to play rough huh?" The crime lord said
"We dont know what you want but I think its time your life ends here" The hero said
"Shut up you little runt!" The crime lord said as he opened fire on the hero
But because the accuracy was too sucky,it missed! or the hero dodged
The hero then started firing on the crime lord and his men
1 got killed(Again),Another got injured and the crime lord...also dodged the attack,somehow
"Gaah! Boss! I need some first aid!" The Injured member said
"Got it!" The crime lord said as he threw the first aid to his injured member-buddy
"Thanks!" he said as he used it on himself...before he got shot by jason
"Darn,You little runts are lucky arent ya? Well try and stop this!" The Crime lord said
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