Before you decide to post anything stupid, I really don't care that kind of stuff. Won't even post a whole paragraph stating why. I'm aware OT is a bit of a stupid place to ask, but I need the opinion of numerous people, and it's preferable that it's people not in contact with who this is related to.
I'm currently with someone for over 11 months now. Throughout the first half of that, I was very happy with it all. I knew that she had real bad depression and had to take meds and such. Well, a few months ago her meds messed up and she got really depressed. When she feels like this, she becomes extremely narcissistic, inconsiderate and sensitive. She'll say whatever she wants, disregarding how It would make me feel, yet if I speak back to her she'll feel even worse, and she becomes even more inconsiderate. He says things which include;
"You don't care about me." "You're lying." "Why don't you just break up with me?" "Maybe I should just break up with you." "**** off/you" "I am going to commit (You know what)"
Those kind of things. She talks to me as if she's begging me to talk to her and make her feel better, even though she's told me to leave her alone. If I do anything, she gets ****** off with me. She has these fairly often, on average perhaps once a week.
The things is, a couple years ago I was in an emotionally abusive relationship, where my ex would cheat on me and brag about it to me and if I got upset she'd get mad at me. (That's the simple of it)
So having to face being emotionally trapped in another relationship is difficult.
I understand that she's really upset, but it's just how she takes it out on me. The entire relationship feels one sided, as if I don't really matter.
I've considered ending the relationship, but then if she does get worse and actually commit, I would never be able to forgive myself or deal with that guilt.
I'm starting to think as though I'm kind of losing how I feel towards her. She's treated me awfully, and I've tried my best to treat her the best I could through the whole thing.
My options are either;
a) Spend my life with someone who I doubt I have feelings for anymore, and potentially be treated awfully for a long time and suffer emotionally for it so long as I'm with her
b) End the relationship, but then risk the chance of her committing, and then I'd probably feel awful for years to come afterwards.
Thoughts? |