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I Wont, I just wanted to see what people would say about it |
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just from the view of someone who's been considered 'advanced' since like kindergarten i HATE WHEN PEOPLE READ SLOWLY BC LIKE??????????? speed uP
i catch flights not feelings | spookled's alt, add 5.5k
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If there is only 10 chapters, auto kek, but if there is like 50 then thats understandable
Don't get all slippery on me |
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@charging
oh my god i know right
even the teacher reads our school novels all the time so the students don't have to because she knows how SLOW they are |
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It would be
The guy from saw man WAS singing Jim Crow
^
l |
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@super
what
you didn't even write that correctly lol the irony |
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make it so that the secret 3rd faction of satanists saves the world with the power of the dark lord
+over 2.2k posts |
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Sorry for tearing your story apart, and my writing is not good.
"I saw that the forest we slept in was near a volcano, and it looked active, so i tried to get Caleb up.
"Wake up sleepy head!" I told Caleb, but he wouldn't budge.
Without thinking about what could happen, I kicked him.
"Wake up now!" I yelled, finally he woke up.
"There is a volcano and it is about to erupt! We've got to hurry!" I heard a rumbling sound coming from below me."
For the past few days, I have had noticed a volcano towards the edge of the forest. From the looks of volcano, it was active. I could see the fire from the lava. I knew to wake Caleb up so we could both get out of there. I ran over to where he was sleeping.
"Wake up sleepy head". I told Caleb in an urgent tone. He wouldn't budge. I decided to kick him. I then yelled at him
"Wake up now!" He finally woke up. Caleb looked at me confused and dazed.
"There is a volcano and I think we are in danger! We've got to hurry!" At that very moment, a rumbling could be felt underneath our feat.
Just try to find more descriptive way to describe what is going on in your story.
This isn't 2007 |
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I've been a fast and high leveled reader since I started school
Btw op no offense but this book sounds like it's meant for a 2nd grade boy
I would use higher vocabulary, variate some words, add some figurative language, make it less immature, and make it more interesting and deep. |
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A word of advice, the lava is really cheesy Try something that sounds more realistic
Don't get all slippery on me |
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Sounds right.
When I edit and revise it, it will be a lot better |
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"A word of advice, the lava is really cheesy Try something that sounds more realistic"
Any idea is a great idea as long as you can pull it off correctly. Too bad most people don't have the talent to make looking at the product of an idea an enjoyable experience. :|
This isn't 2007 |
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This is the most replies I have ever had, I know a lot of you think that this story could be better.
I'm going to write the whole story, then add better words and phrases, come up with a better acronym then C.R.A.P.
Thank you very much, but feel free to keep posting stuff about it.
PM me if you have an idea for it
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suggestion: edgelord, the return of salt
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In the lava part you could add something like
"Suddenly, I felt heat radiating my body. I saw the glowing lava approaching me. My heart was pounding outside my chest."
I don't know. When I write stuff it usually sounds generic and cheesy. |
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Hey, this is an idea, later in the story you could add that someone (maybe like, Tammy or something) could be a spy from the people with the beast. |
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Also, If anyone copies this exact thing and turns it into a book, I will sue you. |
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"I'm going to write the whole story, then add better words and phrases, come up with a better acronym then C.R.A.P."
Good thinking. Don't be afraid to make a terribly written first draft/rough draft. Just get your idea out onto paper first, so you don't forget them while trying to remember if its okay to place that colon there. Creativity is stifled when you try to follow rules at the same time.
This isn't 2007 |
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Also, I could add new characters to the book.
You could also add yourself into it!
Tell me the character's name and how we find him/her, and also tell me what happens when they find him/her
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"Also, If anyone copies this exact thing and turns it into a book, I will sue you."
No one is going to turn this crap into a book. It won't make any money. For the book you actually plan to sell, which will hopefully be very good assuming you practiced writing, don't reveal most of it on the internet. If its good enough, someone will try to steal it and take credit for it. Also reveal only a part that doesn't give much of the plot away, such as a filler scene.
Once you get comfortable getting your ideas down onto paper, I'd suggest brushing up on the English language or something. What I'd suggest next is to learn about tropes. You don't want to create a mary sue or some kind of cliche character. Unless that is what you're going for, then go ahead.
This isn't 2007 |
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I'm writing a book called "The Magnolia". Could I post a few short chapters for you guys to judge? |
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I'm going to make a third chapter,
How come no one said anything about the mistake I made during the second chapter?
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