evokinqJoin Date: 2013-07-08
Post Count: 790 |
Many people think that it’s perfectly okay for animals to be used as test subjects and drug-filled victims. But, that should change. Animals are just as important as us, and have lives to fulfill just like every other living being. They shouldn’t be locked up and given a syringe full of a disease, then injected with another medication that hasn’t been tested to see if it actually cures. Here are some reasons as to why we should stop animal experimentation.
Animals that are locked up in laboratory cages get deprived of nearly everything that makes life worth living. Imagine if a human being was suffering from that. Now, that would make many people wonder why we even make animals go through painful tests. Animals shouldn’t be treated as disposable laboratory equipment. It is unscientific, besides the results, and inexcusable.
Another reason is that an obvious problem that most people don’t realise is the fundamental, biological difference between humans and most animals used in research. In other words, the inner working of a rat and human may be similar, but they are by no means identical. When a new medication is being tested, the tested animal may succeed in being healed, but that doesn’t mean the medication can heal humans as well. Additionally, if a new chemical entity is considered safe at the animal stage, it only has an 8% chance of being approved in human use.
Some might say that most medications and “extraordinary developments” nowadays wouldn’t exist if it weren’t for animal experimentation. In a recent test on a rhesus monkey, a drug to fight Ebola had showed remarkable success on the victimized animal. But, most people don’t think about it when the animal itself suffered through the disease. Animals that suffer from experimentation is only because of the benefit on humans.
In conclusion, we can all pursue science to move away from unthinkable experimentation on animals by staying away from cosmetics and household products that were tested on animals, boycotting charities that help fund animal experimentation. and urging our lawmakers to rethink of how us humans devote to cruel animal studies each year to ethical, non-animal research. |
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I'd give you an F... You didn't really explain why I should care about animals being used as test subjects. |
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LyricLynxJoin Date: 2014-06-18
Post Count: 8751 |
hey isabella/olivia
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I'd give you a D- and "Meet me later for some "extra credit"." |
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evokinqJoin Date: 2013-07-08
Post Count: 790 |
ok zelda. |
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dank memes and a bass drop
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by ap standards in my school this is pretty trash. sorry. the entire beginning paragraph is you thesis. A thesis should be one sentence, and it should be the last one in the paragraph. the sentences before it should be background info.
For Ex. "Interesting facts interesting facts" therefore, although many people think it's perfectly okay for animals to be used as test subjects, this should be changed significantly due to the sanctity of animal life, the inhumanity of the conditions, and the unnecessary and reckless carelessness of the treatment of these animals"
then the body paragraphs should restate each one of your three thesis points and give back up data
then closing paragraph recaps main points and has synthesis.
bam thats a good essay
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also I myself would argue that the sometimes unfortunate and potentially deadly situations these animals are placed in are overall greatly worth it because they improve the life of human beings, and I view the life of a human being worth more than the life of some rats
but thats just me (and a lot of other people)
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evokinqJoin Date: 2013-07-08
Post Count: 790 |
yeah, but i'm basically an animal lover and it seems like we could use the different other types of technology to find out cures to diseases rather than using it on actual living things. |
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LyricLynxJoin Date: 2014-06-18
Post Count: 8751 |
Also you should use something else to replace "in conclusion" because it's that kind of phrase ur forced to use for a certain format in 7th grade
Be creative |
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Humans are more important than animals |
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i love animals too i think mice and rats are adorable tbh
but I think your idea of other types of technology is misguided.
if we had a better way to safely test chemicals for humans, we would do it
If we're still doing this it's most likely because it's the best way, unless you can provide proof of otherwise
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ehh, i'd give u an f
because i didnt read it
and you just put this on an ot forum |
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For 1 this Paper is to short, try using articles to make it longer for example, According to the article "BLAH BLAH BLAH" It states (Shows) that....
Pm me for more tips :) |
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and the writing is pretty sub-par, i wrote better in 6th grade |
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your beginning sentence has to not show your opinion like a 'animal experimentation, should it be banned?' but obviously more detailed
then your thesis has to be one sentence, not a paragraph
then your arguments should be introduced in your first paragraph, but not the entire argument, just one sentence mentioning it
i think the rest's good
idk that's what my teacher said |
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forgot, your other 3 paragraphs are one each of your arguments and must have supporting details to the |
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Add "Firstly," to the first body paragraph
In the introduction can have a better hook and a more summarized thesis sentence |
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DigtzyJoin Date: 2014-01-12
Post Count: 16743 |
Many people think that it’s perfectly okay for animals to be used as test subjects and drug-filled victims. But, that should change. Animals are just as important as us, and have lives to fulfill just like every other living being. They shouldn’t be locked up and given a syringe full of a disease, then injected with another medication that hasn’t been tested to see if it actually cures. Here are some reasons as to why we should stop animal experimentation.
(1) - do not use first person in an argumentative essay. it takes away from the credency of the argument, and it's unprofessional
(2) - you need a thesis statement... don't just say "here is the rest of my essay" because that's not how you lead into an argumentative essay
(3) - "But, that should change", is not a sentence. learn comma uses because they do not go after but
(4) - Also, the argument from the very beginning is faulty. if you're going to argue something it should be an issue with two distinctive sides to it. you say in the first sentence that most people are okay with animals being used as test subjects. most people aren't, and you never said who said that or where you even got that from. you're just using a faulty sentence to start your argument which is not appropriate. i suggest changing the approach to the whole topic altogether. however i'm not going to tell you what your topic is, i'm just gonna help with structure for now.
instead of the first line, i would say something like "Most people are unaware of the abuse animals are put through; their ignorance attributes to animals being used as test subjects.
- your argument could go two ways from here... it could target specifically the ignorance of society on the subject matter, and how people are unaware that treatment of test-subject animals is so brutal, or it could target only the treatment of animals being bad, i would advise against doing both unless you want a 4-7 page paper... which i could help more with
here is my suggestion on what you should use as the intro
Many people think that it’s perfectly okay for animals to be used as test subjects and drug-filled victims, but that should change. Animals, specifically cats and dogs, play important roles in our families and societies. Providing comfort and care, and even functioning in jobs positions in certain work forces, animals contribute a certain furry companionship that humans enjoy on a daily basis. It is not only unlawful, it immoral to exploit their good-willed intentions to benefit the likes of the human race through harmful lab testing. (POTENTIAL THESIS - it sets up the point of the essay by saying it is unlawful and immoral to exploit animals which will be proven in body paragraphs)
there you go. if you need any more help just pm me or respond |
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don't use contractions in essays
make can't cannot, don't do not, etc.
first person is never advised, ever. it's pretty imformal.
replace "we" with non-addressing terms
check over your grammar. this whole sentence can be made better
your version
"Many people think that it’s perfectly okay for animals to be used as test subjects and drug-filled victims. But, that should change."
fixed version
"Many people think that it is perfectly okay for animals to be used as test subjects and drug-filled victims, but that should change."
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DigtzyJoin Date: 2014-01-12
Post Count: 16743 |
sometimes it's okay to use "it's" as a contraction in an essay, it becomes more of an issue with words like aren't and can't
you shouldn't use those
i personally always write "it is" however it's not as big of a deal as the others |
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tl;dr
Etrade, where true traders trade on a trademarked trade platform |
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@luxerii
i love you papii
place your fist firmly inside me papii |
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