|
Alright neckbeards, time to learn how to get the girl.
1. Shave that neckbeard off. I'm serious. Just get rid of it, it ain't cute. Get some shaving cream and a good razor. Don't use the same one you shaved your balls with 4 years ago. Get a new, good one. The more money you spend, the better.
2. Take a shower. That's right, that's the rain machine that's next to the toilet you watch anime on. Get all 500lb of your greasy ass in that shower, turn it on, and for the love of god, use soap. Sulfate free shampoo is good too, but not every time you pleb. During this shower, you can also shave, you monkey.
3. Git gud clothing. Don't walk around like this. Throw away the fedora, lose the flasher trench coat, and jesus christ don't walk around with gloves like some deranged person. Buy a nice button-down shirt, long sleeve if you're fat af, short sleeve if not, make sure it hugs close to the body, you're not going for the minimum wage slave look. Tailored pants or slim-cut jeans (Levi's 511's for example) will make them crawl.
4. Wear deodorant and cologne. This is NOT a replacement for a shower you sicko. Take the shower first, apply deodorant BEFORE putting your shirt on and wait 5 minutes for it to dry. Don't give yourself stains on your nice new clothing, it makes you look like the child you are. Spray your cologne in a cloud and then walk through it. DO NOT USE AXE JESUS. Get some good cologne, I recommend Lacoste Blanc cause it makes them grease up. AGAIN DO NOT USE AXE YOU IDIOT. Your waifu would not approve.
5. Learn how to talk to people who aren't weebs. Don't bring up anime at all. I don't care if there's a chance she is into anime. LET HER BRING IT UP. If you decide to go on about your various waifus and how much they mean to you, I almost guarantee she will mace you, call the police, and then go out with your brother. Guaranteed. Don't do it. Instead, ask about stuff she likes, and listen to her. They love when people listen. Also, try to be charming. If you got jokes, say jokes. NOT ABOUT ANIME THO.
6. If you actually manage to take a girl home, DO NOT ASK HER INAPPROPRIATE STUFF. I SWEAR. Don't just jump at the chance if you see it. Be as indirect as possible and try to pick up on her signals. If it seems like she's interested, and you take her to your place, ask her if she'd like some coffee or tea. Don't be like "DAE LETS SKREW". Let things progress naturally and you'll find yourself knee deep in it later.
I hope this has taught you a thing or two, and I look forward to hearing about you being arrested for assault or something in the news. |
|
|
You did it wrong.
Here's how:
You don't. |
|
|
Lmao a seven year old making a dating tutorial. How refreshing and original, Mr. Sartorius |
|
|
You are quite pathetic, I see.
Typical male subordinate desperate to conform to liberal society. |
|
KotawlJoin Date: 2013-06-22
Post Count: 23595 |
>get girls
>neckbeard
you can only choose one |
|
|
just make them hostages
or shoot them
|
|
|
@kotawl
i choose the katana /s
|
|
|
GIRLS ARE DRAWN TO NECKBEARDS ENOUGH AS IT IS
DASTARDLY WIT
AND QUIRKY FASHION SENSE
NECKBEARDS TRULY HAVE IT ALL |
|
|
"You are quite pathetic, I see.
Typical male subordinate desperate to conform to liberal society."
Hey _Anon I bet you're pretty cute attacking your ideological allies. Can you do everyone a favor and run all the way back home to /r/theredpill though? I'm trying to educate some greasy teenagers here. |
|
|
I have a tiny bit of hair on my neck
I should grow it into a neckbeard!!! |
|
SwagillouJoin Date: 2015-02-27
Post Count: 2606 |
guess im not getting a girl because i use axe :(
Alt of thelegoboy8732489 | Add 14.9k | Eharmony called, they want their players back |
|
|
how to get girls if you're a girl |
|
OTSolluxJoin Date: 2015-11-11
Post Count: 845 |
how to get girls/guys if your a female neckbeard/m'lady/legbeard?
whycat is sad (#1 alt) |
|
OhmyblastJoin Date: 2009-07-04
Post Count: 478 |
H I T T H E G Y M
I
T
T
H
E
G
Y
M
|
|
|
OP you forget to say get /fit/ |
|
alasa2Join Date: 2016-06-03
Post Count: 1367 |
you really thought this through, op..
ℑ'𝔡 𝔩𝔦𝔨𝔢 𝔱𝔬 𝔱𝔞𝔨𝔢 𝔞 𝔪𝔦𝔫𝔲𝔱𝔢 𝔧𝔲𝔰𝔱 𝔰𝔦𝔱 𝔯𝔦𝔤𝔥𝔱 𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔯𝔢 ℑ'𝔩𝔩 𝔱𝔢𝔩𝔩 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔥𝔬𝔴 ℑ 𝔟𝔢𝔠𝔞𝔪𝔢 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔭𝔯𝔦𝔫𝔠𝔢 𝔬𝔣 𝔞 𝔱𝔬𝔴𝔫 𝔠𝔞𝔩𝔩𝔢𝔡 𝔅𝔢𝔩A-𝔄𝔦𝔯 |
|
|
GinjjiJoin Date: 2011-06-19
Post Count: 7677 |
I was gonna say shave all off but the mustache, and make it into a curly one.
The ladies love the curly mustaches. |
|
|
"The ladies love the curly mustaches."
Maybe if you're going after hipster chicks. |
|
|
What's a girl?
NHLR S2 Calder Winner, NRHL S1 Vezina Winner, #77 |
|
|
"I was gonna say shave all off but the mustache"
Jesus no. Nobody wants to see how creepy your sweaty peachfuzz-stache looks. That doesn't look good on anyone. |
|
|
i just go for guys who have nice butts
|
|
alasa2Join Date: 2016-06-03
Post Count: 1367 |
i just go for guys who have nice butts [2]
saaaaaaaame
ℑ'𝔡 𝔩𝔦𝔨𝔢 𝔱𝔬 𝔱𝔞𝔨𝔢 𝔞 𝔪𝔦𝔫𝔲𝔱𝔢 𝔧𝔲𝔰𝔱 𝔰𝔦𝔱 𝔯𝔦𝔤𝔥𝔱 𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔯𝔢 ℑ'𝔩𝔩 𝔱𝔢𝔩𝔩 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔥𝔬𝔴 ℑ 𝔟𝔢𝔠𝔞𝔪𝔢 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔭𝔯𝔦𝔫𝔠𝔢 𝔬𝔣 𝔞 𝔱𝔬𝔴𝔫 𝔠𝔞𝔩𝔩𝔢𝔡 𝔅𝔢𝔩A-𝔄𝔦𝔯 |
|
|
QwazillaJoin Date: 2014-12-10
Post Count: 4351 |
"Don't bring up anime at all."
Absolutely not
If someone cannot banter about senseless garbage then I don't want anything to do with them |
|