Ladies and gentlemen it's time for the General Election and it's time for the Monster Raving Loony Party to represent you!
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Patriotism
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We will change the national anthem to Ayo and teo- Rolex to fit in with nowadays modern music and to give our country a unique identity. We will also change the symbol of 3 lions to 3 badgers, how often do you see lions running around?
Weekly 'monster parades' will be conducted around London in support of the Monster Raving Loony Party (but will also feature some ugly faces of opposing party leaders - because they really are monsters.).
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Health
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The silly interim Prime Minister established the National Health Service. If you vote for the MRLP we shall dissolve the NHS and establish the National Healing of People's Service.
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Home Office
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The Metropolitan Police has been a total fail! We say dissolve the MPS and replace it with a better police service - Monsterpolitan Popo Service capable in dealing with any crime (not that there will be) around our capital London.
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Foreign Affa#######
The MRLP will strengthen ally ties. Though, we shall rename the Commonwealth the Commonwealth of Wannabees
Foreign ambassadors will be dished out to foreign countries so they have a snack whilst deciding to ally with us.
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Defence
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As modern weapons have been so ineffective in the armed forces, the MRLP will be changing the weapons to sticks and stones instead - you know the saying folks.
-Immigration
One in one out.
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Environment
We will put air conditioners on the outside of building to tackle global warming.
-Travel
We will only put yellow lines where you CAN park and rename Oyster cards " Sardine cards ".
And that is our manifesto on why you should and WILL vote us. Say 'signed' underneath for a baby to be sent straight to your door folks.
Sincerely,
Right Gracious Shervi123
Leader of The Monster Raving Loony Party
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