RetalJoin Date: 2008-07-07
Post Count: 8677 |
This Idea Came to me While I was on the Bus to School, listening to music. It seemed a Shame not to Share it with the World, So I am turning it into a Book. Here is the Prologue and a Quarter of the First chapter for you to give your Opinions on. Enjoy.
Prologue - Concerning the Lupirscharne
The Lupirscharne (Loo-peer-sh-arn) are an Anthropomorphic Race of Wolves, standing at the same height as a Grown Man, and about as thin as a Typical Pillow if one does not include the Arms that the Scharne Possess. They are a Very Sociable Race, Getting on Particularly well with the Elves and other Anthropomorphic Races. They do not use the Human or Elven system of Monarchy or Parliament, instead Sticking to their Instincts and using the Pack Hierarchy, where two Leaders, who do not have to even know each other (Unlike the Human System where they must Marry) as long as they are Strong Leaders who will care for their People. The Two Alphas, the Alpha Male, and Alpha Female, are often Indistinguishable from the Rest of the Pack, only given away by the way the others turn to them for Guidance, they Eat like their Followers, Drink like them, are Clothed Like them, Fight like them, and Live like them, more often than not, with them in fact.
The Lupirscharne live in Huts about the Size of a Typical Human abode, made from Natural Resources such as Mud, Sticks and Leaves, this make for a very Comfortable Living Place when Built right, as well as one that is very easy and quick to Construct. The Humans have gotten into the Habit of Calling them Bowwolves, for they are Famous for Their All-Metal Bladebows, which are Metal Bows, sharpened at the Edges and with a Point above and Below the Handle as well as at the Very Tips of it so that the Bow may be used in Melee Combat. They are also well known for their Amber Forest Ale, a Beverage which does taste Foul to anyone without an Enhanced sense of taste like themselves and the Elves. When they Interact with Humans they are Often acting as Guards, and anyone who has a Scharne Guard is Incredibly Lucky, as the Scharne are Fiercely Loyal, and will Defend whoever their Leader is to the Death.
During Battle, the Alphas do not Cower behind the Lines as Humans so often do, but are Often at the Head of the Charge, wielding Compound Bladebows, or Bladed Crossbows. This, in Combination with the Wicked Spiked Armor given to the Alpha Males, and the Graceful, Elegant but Deadly Armor of the Alpha Females, makes them very Dangerous indeed. Especially when it comes down to Bare Knuckle Fighting, in which case you will have to Protect your Neck, they strike for the Jugular.
Whenever the Scharne go into Battle they wear Leather, Chainmail or Plate. The Alpha will Usually fight in all three, like Human Knights, but any Scharne Soldier is Free to wear Whatever the Pack can spare, or that they can Afford. All they have to do is Carve the Symbol of their Pack into the Armor. When not in Battle the Scharne Garb themselves in Leather Gloves and Boots, and Shirt and Pants made from a strange Material called Tonlex (Ton-Elks) which has the endurance of Flax, and the Comfort of Cotton. Both Male and Female wear Trousers, and Females are not Under-appreciated like in Human society, but are equal to the Males in Scharne Culture, who realise that if it were not for the Woman they would not Survive. Because behind every Great Warrior, Poet, King or Suchlike, there is always a Woman supporting him, and in Scharne Culture the Women are free to do whatever they Please, unlike Human Culture.
The Scharne evolved from Wolves, and are Extremely Respectful of this, they Refuse to Dishonour the Body of a Dead Wolf by Touching it, unless it is to give it a burial. When a Lupirscharne dies they are Buried in the Forest, with a Gravestone of Metal to mark the Grave, into the Gravestone is Engraved or Fused a Momento of this person, for Example, a Poem, a Prized Possession, or, as is the Case with most warriors, their Weapon. Also, from the Wolves they have inherited Colour Blindness, but they Have found that Alcohol allows them to see in Full Color. They prefer to Use Amber Forest for this Purpose. They have also Inherited their Diet and are Completely Carnivorous, the Ingredients List for Amber Forest is... not Suitable for Vegetarians shall we say.
The Scharne are a very Sociable race, and so have Different Greetings depending on Gender, Rank and So Forth. The Normal Greeting is a Simple Hug, which is then followed by a Kiss if Opposite Genders are Meeting, or Precedded by a Handshake if it is Two Male Scharne, or in the Case of Two Female Scharne, followed by a kiss on the Cheek, as is sometimes observed in Human Culture. If they are talking to someone of Higher Rank they then Proceed to give a Small Bow, if It is an Alpha Dealing with another Member of the pack then it is a Gesture of Twisting the hand, placing it over the Heart and giving a Small Bow. If it is two Members of equal rank then it is a Handshake if it is not Two Male Scharne meeting and if it is then it is a kiss on the Cheek. The Scharne will often Extend these greetings to humans, using the Same System.
The Scharne, like all Races, must Reproduce, and when they Do so, if it is with another Scharne, they will have a Litter of about 4-7, if it is with a Mate of any Gender, of any other race, it will be a Single Child, with the Exception of other Anthropomorphic Races, in which case it is most often a Litter.
Now, enough about the Lupirscharne, or we would be here for days explaining Meaningless Trivia. Perhaps we shall discuss the Geography of the Land of Ralsbour'na. The West of Ralsbour'na is Desert and Mountain, and is Populated by the Dwarves and a Few Nomadic Tribes of Humans. To the North is Freezing Tundra, Populated by the Luschar Arctos, the Arctic Scharne, and more Nomadic Humans. To the South are the Great Forests, populated by the Elves and a few Scattered Luschar Lycaos, Grey Scharne. To the East are the Plains, a Few Forests and the Ocean, this Area is Populated by the Luschar Lycaon, Eastern Scharne, this is where our story begins, in the Small Village of Yarlis. In the Middle of Ralsbour'na the Geography is Varied Greatly, from Desert to Mountain to Forest to Plain to Lake to River to Swamp. The Human Capital of Tenirdun is here, in the Very Centre of the Continent, and is Protected by the Crescent
Mountain Range to the East, Swamp to the South, and the Military City of Basnir to the East. The Only Entrance is to the North, through the Yarnmouth Canyon, which was once a Great River feeding the now Dry Lake where Tenirdun Stands. The Canyon is Protected by Archers Garrisoned in Checkpoints, Lookout Towers and Barracks the Whole Way along it's Reach.
The Elven Capital of Yawe'nal'vas is not Protected in such an Obvious way, but is hidden Deep in the Forest, with no Noticeable Trail or Path Leading to it, so that only Elves, or those who were invited in may Find it, and those who try to Hack down the Forest to find it, find themselves facing the Wrath of Nature.
The Dwarven capital of Karnvas Yar is Carved into the Tallest Mountain Peak and Set with Gemstones, so that when the Sun Shines on it, the Whole Capital Glimmers with Beautiful Rays of Light, the Only way in is to Fly, or to Gain Entrance by Scaling the Peak, or through the Many Tunnels the Dwarves have dug to it from their Lesser Cities.
The Scharne have no Capital, for they Have no Monarchy, instead they have a Meeting Center, a Massive Buzzing Hub of Activity and Life by the Shore, where Meetings, Celebrations and Bartering takes place. This is a Well-Known spot for Holiday Celebrations, and is Frequented by All Races. It is known by the name of Nirsull.
There are 5 Provinces, Central, North, South, West and East. The Central is Arsinial, the North is Arctilea, the South is Lamir'nar'su, the West is Garker Darm, and the East is Firsaln.
Other Races have their Own Capitals, but these are Small, as are the Other Races, and so are of No Great Importance.
Now, our Story begins in the Plains of Lyscar, in the Small Scharne village of Yarlis, in the Provinece of Firsaln, our Protagonist is a very Young Male Luschar Lycaon, at the age of only 36, by the name of Kelan Tirthson, he is the son of the Alpha Female, and one of a Litter of 5. The Year is 218, during the Age of Tenir, in which the Human Monarch is Tenir the Great, who united all Humans in the Central Province of Arsinial and built Tenirdun. And it is he, who is the Antagonist, I shall not say Villain, and I shall not call Kelan the Hero, because after all, those Titles depend Highly on who you are, what race your are, and what your Point of view is, so I shall tell this from a Wikipedian, Neutral Point of View, and allow you to decide who is the Hero, and who is the Villain.
Chapter 1 – An Unexpected Visitor
Kelan sat on a Rock outside Yarlis and looked at the Small Village, his back to the forest. He oiled his Bow as he did this. It needed oiling because this was a Bladebow, made entirely of metal, Sharpened for use in Melee Combat. He Checked the string Regularly for Fraying as he did this. Satisfied with the Result, he Wrapped it in Tonlex Cloth and Placed the Weapon inside a Leather Quiver that sat leaning against the Rock. He relaxed and took in his Surroundings slowly. His Mother, the Alpha, was sitting outside the Granary, using a Quill to scribble down notes about the Trade Caravans, What they Should take, and how much they should take. The Alpha Male leant against the Wall of one of the Houses and Surveyed the Road leading out across the Plains. A Scharne, only the age of 4, played Ball with his Father, his Father Throwing it, and him running and catching it, before bringing it back to be thrown again. A Lot of the Scharne played this Game during Childhood. And Kelan saw something that Truly caught his eye. Eniliya, who he loved since childhood, lounging on the Roof of her House. He didn't know how long he stared for, lost in her Beauty. As far as he was concerned, there was nothing more perfect. He loved everything about her, her dreamy Amber Eyes, the grace and confidence she walked with, her Sweet, Honeyed Voice, her Beautiful Silky Golden Fur, everything, she was the Alpha Male's Daughter, and she was a Skilled Doctor, she had trained with the Elves during the Summer Solstice. One of his two Brothers ran up towards him from the House, breaking the spell. Kelan hopped off the Rock and met him half way, embracing. “Hello Brother” He said, smiling. “I was about to go Hunting, I wanted to know if you wanted to Come too?”
“Bows or Teeth?” Kelan asked.
“Either. I'm not fussy.” He replied, shrugging.
“Sure, let me just get my Bow.” Kelan turned away and bent over to sling his Quiver onto his back, but paused.
“What is it Kelan?” He asked, puzzled.
“I don't know. What do you make of those Knights?” Kelan Replied, pointing towards a Convoy of Mounted Knights, who were slowly walking towards the Alpha, who came out to meet them. They hopped off their Horses and Continued walking towards him.
“They're King Tenir's Knights! What are they doing here?” He asked, looking even more Puzzled.
“They've got their Hands on their Weapons, like they Expect an Attack” Kelan Observed. The Alpha Held his hand out when the Leading Knight reached him. He was Clad in the Armor of the King's Witchunters, a Large Rounded, Full Face Helm and Heavy Armor covered in Wards that were supposed to keep away magic, and did to a Certain degree. As the Alpha began to Greet them, time seemed to slow to a Crawl as a Large Silver Blade suddenly protruded from the Small of His back. Everyone turned and watched as the Witchunter kicked the Dying Alpha off his Blade, and then turned to run as a Massive Juggernaut of a Knight clanked towards him. He was clad in Massive Black Plate, that caused him to stand at least Eight Feet Tall. He Pulled the Largest sword any Scharne had ever Seen off his back, and with one movement, crushed the Alpha Male's Head like a Grape. The Four Year Old Scharne started growling at him, instinct taking over him. The Juggernaut let out a Cold, echoing Laugh, and said in a Voice that sent shivers down Kelans Spine. “Fetch.” He pulled a Spiked Ball from his Belt and threw it in the Air. The Scharne, knowing no Better, Fetched the Ball. Kelan turned away in Horror. 'What kind of Monsters were these Knights?' thought Kelan. “We have to get away from here.” His brother said, before Bolting into the Forest. “Wait!” Kelan Pleaded uselessly to the Air where his brother was Moments ago. The Scharne, outraged at the attack, pulled out their Strongest Weapons and began assaulting the Knights, to no Avail, Vicious Spiked War Arrows from the Compound Bladebow, which could Shoot a Twig straight through a Tree Trunk, Bounced Harmlessly off the Juggernaut's Plate Armor, and he continued his Rampage.
Critique Please =3 |