LeiagirlJoin Date: 2008-11-02 Post Count: 419 |
Happiness
I thought happiness would never find its way
Life with no happiness, what a sad day
But I've got it here and now, and its here to stay
Misery and anger, can go away.
Happiness, was hidden in the gloom
With no happiness, I was headed for doom
Happiness is with me, it has grown
And I'm just hoping it ain't a loan
It is blossoming, like a seed that's been sown
Having it here with me, makes me feel less alone.
Happiness, was hidden in the gloom
With no happiness, I was headed for doom
A happy sun's, shining inside of me
No more anger, or misery
I'm much happier, can't you see
And now I'm glowing, glowing happily!
Happiness, was hidden in the gloom
With no happiness, I was headed doom.
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Its okay, maybe you should work on the rhymes and make the chorus longer... Other than that, good song |
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Maybe this for the chorus?
Happiness, was hidden in the gloom
With no happiness, I was headed doom
I have it now, I'm getting more soon
I now sing a happy tune!
Maybe? I dunno, you decide |
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Nevermind, Im rubbish at rhymes |
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spork890Join Date: 2007-11-16 Post Count: 12213 |
I like it. |
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y would nyone laugh at this, i mean, its good and it takes skill to make z song, |
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shaun436Join Date: 2008-06-06 Post Count: 7347 |
ya no one would laugh its a good song |
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LeiagirlJoin Date: 2008-11-02 Post Count: 419 |
Really? That one was a happy bubbly song (I hope) I have another, but its not done yet
I was wrong, I realise, please listen while I say my feelings...
I got the spotlight and you got some peelings
Sitting in my shadow for so long,
And I didnt see what was going wrong.
Oooh,
And I know, right now, that I confused my feelings
And I know, right now, that what I said was wrong,
And I know, oh yeah I know, thats why your gone
Mmm.
I was wrong, I realise, and I know that now you seem to be fading,
I got the colours and you got the shadings
Living with black for so long,
And I didnt see what was going wrong.
Oooh
And I know, right now, that I confused my feelings
And I know, right now, that what I said was wrong,
And I know, oh yeah I know, thats why your gone
Mmm.
I havent worked out the tune yet
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LeiagirlJoin Date: 2008-11-02 Post Count: 419 |
Please comment on the last one |
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I think you have a talent, Leia |
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musicboy1Join Date: 2008-11-09 Post Count: 176 |
yo this girl can rap.yo yo yo my name is thegame one and ill never be the same one.i will rap until i get a cap.my boss said it has to ryhme,for every rap he will give a dime.ohh there it is my cap omg is that dodo or what?WORD |
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LeiagirlJoin Date: 2008-11-02 Post Count: 419 |
Wow, guys, thanks, but Im not THAT good |
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BoyzoneJoin Date: 2008-11-02 Post Count: 107 |
Leia, your songs have stolen my heart. Write more, they are beautiful |
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BoyzoneJoin Date: 2008-11-02 Post Count: 107 |
Hey, we joined on the same day |
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It's better than I could ever do!Bigtime! |
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kitkat30Join Date: 2008-03-07 Post Count: 28 |
They're good.The happyness one was... very... happy. |
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rocky713Join Date: 2008-08-03 Post Count: 6642 |
Im a peice of cr@p compared 2 u |
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paclacJoin Date: 2008-06-07 Post Count: 9020 |
Like the other guy, im crap compared to you. |
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jjtt11Join Date: 2008-06-14 Post Count: 16285 |
ok for the guy abouf me and who he agreed to you guys are mean i think its very nice |
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maddya13Join Date: 2008-07-07 Post Count: 607 |
its pretty good |
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LeiagirlJoin Date: 2008-11-02 Post Count: 419 |
Thank you! |
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The first one was great but the second one needed a little more rhyme. |
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jjtt11Join Date: 2008-06-14 Post Count: 16285 |
and leiagirl your very welcome |
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LeiagirlJoin Date: 2008-11-02 Post Count: 419 |
Thank you guys... Usually people who reply to threads are sarcastic jerks, and I didnt want to be laughed at.... but you guys are relly nice, and thanks for all the constructive comments |
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