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make jokes or copy and paste them from comedians, like the following from Dane Cook,
I saw this on CNN a few days ago. In Florida these cops freaked out. They shot at this guy 11 times 'cause they said he was holding a grenade. HE WAS EATING A PEAR!! How do you mess that up?! Unless he was eating it like "AHHHHHH!" *throws pear* "THAT'S A DELICIOUS PEAR!!!" |
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I've heard on the news that they are thinking of putting microchips inside babies so that if they ever get kidnapped that you can track them on Google. But what if technology fails? Well here is my solution: next to the microchip, put a detonator. Listen, if I can't have my baby, nobody can!!! |
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You dont laugh now but later youll be like" hahaha that peterpetralli is one silly son son of a noob" |
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speedy109Join Date: 2007-06-28
Post Count: 16733 |
What does a Blonde do when its cold outside?
she gets a candle
What does she do when it gets even colder?
she lights it
•§peedy109• |
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speedy109Join Date: 2007-06-28
Post Count: 16733 |
One day, a blonde's neighbor goes over to her house, sees the blonde crying, and asks her what happened. The blonde said that her mother had passed away. The neighbor made her some coffee and calmed her down a little and then left. The next day the neighbor went back over to the house and found the blonde crying again. She asked her why she was crying this time.
''I just got off of the phone with my sister, her mother died too!''
•§peedy109• |
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Whats with these dumb blondes? Mabye their detonator chips messed up their brains. |
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speedy109Join Date: 2007-06-28
Post Count: 16733 |
Q: What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?
A: Pull the pin and throw it back.
•§peedy109• |
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speedy109Join Date: 2007-06-28
Post Count: 16733 |
yesh
•§peedy109• |
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Q:What would happen if you were locked in a room with a timed bomb?
A:You would die. |
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I could not be a fireman
If I go to a house and it was fully on fire. Forget that! I quit.
I would just stand outside and watch it burn with everybody else.
And the woman next to me be like... Please my son,
he's screaming in there. I'd be like Well he's probably on fire!
That's what happens when you're on fire lady...
What are you doing out here? You think for yourselfer.
Why didn't you make a map for him or something? |
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rodgerdodgerTop 100 PosterJoin Date: 2008-05-22
Post Count: 21254 |
theres three people in a plane
one of them takes a bite out of a apple they say its to sweet so they throw it out of the plane
the next takes a bite of a lemon they say its to sour so they throw it out
the next takes a bit of a grenade and says its too crunchy he throws it out of the plane
they land the plane and decide to go for a walk
they see a little girl crying
they walk up and say "little girl little girl why are you crying?"
the girl says "an apple came and killed my pet puppy!"
they walk and see a little boy crying
they walk up and say "little boy little boy why are you crying?"
the little boy says "a lemon came and killed my new puppy!"
they then see a blonde hystericly laughing on a bench
they walk up and say "why are you laughing?"
the blonde says "I FARTED AND THE WHOLE BUILDING BEHIND ME BLEW UP!!!!!" |
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Once there was a man. He drank water. He ate food. Then he farted. Then an old man was about to light a torch when the mehane in the fart blew up killing them both. The fart made a building fall and crush many onlookers...And no one survived. Okay kids did you like my story!? *kids sit and stare in horror at barney*
Barney:....
Kid:*tackles barney*
Barney:*dials nine one one*
Kids:*are attacking Barney*
Barney:*gets angry and throws a kids at a camerea*
Police:*show up and handcuff BArney*
Barney:I WON'T GO! *knees a cop and tries to run*
SWAT:*appear around him with guns and force him into a car*
-COPS-
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jjtt11Join Date: 2008-06-14
Post Count: 16285 |
somebody:i want a...................(drool)
john:sir plz move along
somebody:.............(car over flows with drool)
john:-_- MOVE OVER! YOUR HOLDING THE DARN LINE!
somebody:(drowning in drool)
john:poor guy NEXT! |
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beckabethJoin Date: 2007-04-10
Post Count: 331 |
A blonde walked into a bar, "Ow!" Said the blonde |
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zXWolfyXzJoin Date: 2008-07-23
Post Count: 3840 |
How do you drown a blond?
put a scrach and sniff at the bottom of a pool
How do you kill a bunch of blonds in a submarien?
knock on the door |
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su3353Join Date: 2008-11-22
Post Count: 9370 |
(hate barney joke)
heres a barney rime and joke
i love you you hate me you tied me up to a tree then you cut off my head sorry barney you are dead
joke:q what do you do if your olding a match
a;throw it a barney |
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kila13Join Date: 2008-09-11
Post Count: 2418 |
I THINK ABOUT HAVING 19 KIDS. NAMING THEM THAT WILL BE EXCITING ITS KIND OF LIKE A GAME. I ALREADY HAVE THE FIRST NAME BOY OR GIRL I DONT CARE THE FIRST ONE IS GUNNNA BE THRRR. ITS FEMININE BUT STRONG AT THE SAME TIME. TIME FOR BED THRRR, I SAID TIME FOR BED THRRR. NO COOKIES THRRRR!!! IM GUNNA NAME ANOTHER BUNCH OF MY KIDS AFTER MY FAV. CARTOON, TRANSFORMERS. OH YEAH JUST BE LIKE OPTIMUS PRIME COME HERE FOR A MINUTE. YOU HAVE A SIT HERE NEXT TO MEGATRON WERE GUNNA HAVE A LITTLE CHIT CHAT .... I AM THE COBRA COMANDER IN THIS....THRRRRR I SAID NO COOKIES!!!!!!!! THRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!! THIS ****** THRRRR IS DRIVING ME UP A ****** WALL THRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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kila13Join Date: 2008-09-11
Post Count: 2418 |
oh oh oh i goy anotherone
don't know if I could kill someone with a frozen turkey, because that is a lot of evidence to eat. Unless I found a whole room of people who also wanted that person dead |
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RAAM123Join Date: 2008-05-06
Post Count: 3220 |
[THIS IS A JOKE I DO NO MEAN IT]
your moms so stupid she got locked in the bathroom and wet her pants.... |
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su3353Join Date: 2008-11-22
Post Count: 9370 |
(advert) welcom to hell we have a lava swimming pool jhonas witness
and eternal damnation! |
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RAAM123Join Date: 2008-05-06
Post Count: 3220 |
There was once a stockbroker who had made a ton of money off the stock market and decided to retire to a ranch in Montana. One day he was out in his front yard planting some flowers when he sees dirt flying up behind a truck. The truck pulls into his driveway and a famer gets out of his truck.
"Hi, my name is Bob. I'm your neighbor. I live about five miles away and I came to invite you to a party I am having tonight."
"What kind of a party is it?" asks the stockbroker.
"Oh, we're going to do a little dancing, a little fighting, a little eating, little drinking, and a little screwing."
"That sounds great,' said the stockbroker. "What should I wear?"
"I don't care," said Bob. "It's just gonna be the two of us." |
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su3353Join Date: 2008-11-22
Post Count: 9370 |
be
loving
about
what
might
eat you
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RAAM123Join Date: 2008-05-06
Post Count: 3220 |
Three sons left home to make their fortunes, and they all did very, very well for themselves. They got together recently and were discussing what they each had done to benefit their aging mother.
"Well," said the first one, "I bought Mom a huge house in Beverly Hills."
"I bought her a Mercedes and hired a full-time driver for her."
"I've got you both beat," said the third. "I bought her a miraculous parrot that can recite any Bible verse you tell it to."
A little later, the mother sent out a thank you letter to all three sons. "Gerald -- the house you bought was too big. I only live in one room, but I have to clean the entire house. Milton -- the car is useless because I don't go anywhere because I'm too old. But Robert -- you know exactly what I like. The chicken was delicious."
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